Things I know: Mothering is a Journey, Not a Race

Far too often, we read about mothers fretting over their children’s milestones. “Oh, my child is 12 months old but isn’t walking yet” or “our daughter has turned 2 years old but is not talking much”. Sounds familiar?

Of course, every mother has expectations over their child’s developmental milestones and they are important to check that your child is developing well. Also, if you notice any delay that may be of concern, the milestones can trigger you to start intervention early for your child to make the best possible progress.

However, we must remember that each child is unique, and just because Joe started walking at 9 months, it does not mean that Suzy is abnormal to start walking at 18 months {and yes, the little pumpkin only started walking around 18 months}! Although each milestone has a target age range, the actual age when a normally developing child reaches that milestone varies. 

To “get ahead in life”, I know of many parents who actually start enrolling their children in classes as young as 3 months old! No, scrape that. Some parents actually start “training” their unborn children in the womb by having them listen to music or readings to simulate their intellectual development. I am sure all of you heard of the bestselling book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother? Although not all Asian mothers are totally like that, I can assure you that there is some truth to that book in the way Asians raise their kids.

My mother was not one of those parents. She gave me space to grow and motivated me to pursue my individual talents and gifts. I had no pressure to excel academically {although I did pretty well thank you very much}, nor was I forced to attend 1001 other enrichment classes outside of school. For this I am grateful. My own experience has shaped how I want my little pumpkin to grow too. At 27 months, she doesn't know all her a,b,c's or count properly, but am I going to lose sleep over that? No. Because I know she eventually will. 

Very often, when we are in a race, we tend to let small insignificant things fall to the side. However, more often than not, these “insignificant” things turn out to be rather significant things indeed. Taking time out to care for a pet or to play baseball with your neighbor teaches a child important life skills like loving another being and teamwork.

I want my girl to learn by experience and to take time to smell the roses, but more importantly, I want to be there to smell it with her. Children grow up so fast, don’t you think so? Stop comparing your children. Mothering is a journey for us to enjoy every simple moment with our child. It is not a race for us to complete all the different milestones in life!

Sharing at Shae's. What else do you know? :)

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