Sunday, September 2, 2012

Celebrate Fatherhood: Birth of a Father | Guestpost by Daddy Blogger of Sengkang Babies

Sakura Haruka is not a blog just about celebrating motherhood. It shares the joys {& frustrations!} of parenting and of families as a whole. Inspired by my hubby's thoughts on being a dad, Celebrate Fatherhood is thus a monthly series where daddies from all walks of life share insights about what fatherhood means to them, and how we can appreciate their role in a family too.

I sincerely thank all those who took the time to guest post for me. Most of those I approached were very supportive and enthusiastic about this new series, sharing my belief that being an involved dad, and getting the dads involved, is important in building a strong family. If you have a story to share, please email me at sakuraharuka {at} live {dot} com.

Birth of a Father
I am first and foremost, a husband to my dear wife. When our child came along, I play a second role as a father.

What does it mean to be a Father? When are we ever ready to be a Daddy? You mean that 2.5Kg bundle, that vulnerable infant, is going to call me 爸爸 (Dad) one day?

My heart melted when I first saw my eldest boy, 9 years ago. I cried unashamedly, as I did not know how to handle the mixed and overwhelming emotions.You see your wife suffering to push the baby out, but you are also excited to greet your baby for the first time.

I witnessed every one of my child's birth.With subsequent kids, I did not cry so easily, but there was always that emotional lump in my throat.It is a humbling experience, to be a father again, and again.

Where is the manual for Fatherhood ?
Mummies share their knowledge and experience through networking. Daddies normally need to prove they are on top of the situation, so we only scream for help in desperate times. New fathers can definitely cope better with more guidance. Feeding and changing diapers are the easy but necessary tasks.

More importantly, we need to appreciate our wife's sacrifices, acknowledge her new role as “Mummy”. Very often, we forget that Mummy is new to parenting too. Together, we nurture our family.

From my blog, with all the happy faces, it is easy to assume that handling of kids are easy. Both of us love kids, but when it comes to parenting, every parent has his own set of challenge.

I fumbled with one kid, got more frustrations as I handled two kids.After the third child, some processes become repetitive, and you know how to react instinctively. I am an unassuming Dad, there are always things to learn and improve.

We must assume kids are programmed to irritate their parents.They defy our instructions, and they ignore our rules !

Father's report card 
What do I want from the kids? How will the kids remember their father? I do not need them to appreciate me, it is my duty to protect my family, and to love them unconditionally. I hate to admit it, but parenting gets tougher, especially when the little ones start to argue and bargain!

Personally, I believe Singapore is too safe and comfortable. The challenge for today's parents, is to toughen up the kids. Kids need to see the “real” world, and understand that not everything works like clockwork.

Both me and my Mrs hope our children will grow up as responsible adults, with a strong set of moral compass.Meanwhile, we are capturing their childhood memories through our blog.

When I reach home after a tiring day, and when they greet me “Daddy” with their sweet voices.... it makes everything worth it.

Andy is one of the most friendly Daddy bloggers I know. An avid photographer and hardworking father of four, he blogs passionately to retain his kids' childhood memories over at Sengkang Babies. They are ambassadors of fun and try to showcase how kids can have fun anytime and anywhere.

Parenting is a journey, and it is very comforting to know that we are not alone in this path. There are other parents struggling and learning, and I'm glad to have met others {mainly through blogging} that are so willing to share their experiences. It is true that mothers find it easier to network and talk, but I'm really happy to see my hubby willing to open up too. Whenever he meets another parent at a function, he always beams with joy when he talks about the crazy antics his darling daughter gets up to. And it is not just about the good moments, but also his frustrations and difficult situations like getting her to sleep through the night.

As a society, I think we need to build up more of this so that we can have a culture of dads bonding & conversing together, and not feel that they are groping in the dark once they become a dad. Together, they {and their spouses, of course!} create their manual for Fatherhood.



Claire T said...

I really enjoyed this post especially as our family is celebrating Father's Day with my Dad today. He is visiting from New Zealand and so we have had the chance to celebrate twice this year! I love this monthly feature.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for bringing all the fathers together, Ai :)

Ai Sakura said...

Claire: thanks and great to know that you enjoy this series! Hope you had a wonderful Father's Day celebration :)

Anon: No problem, it's my pleasure.

SengkangBabies said...

paiseh ai, Anon is me (must have click wrong button when I added the comment).