Wednesday, April 12, 2017

We are doing all right... ❤

In exactly 1 month's time, Lil Pumpkin will be turning 8 years old.. yes, our little bundle of joy if fast becoming a little tween!! #wheredidmybabygo

I can't help but be a little emo about it, so forgive me if I suddenly look wistful or even start bawling if you happen to meet me in the coming month haha..

Everyday for the past 8 years, I've wondered if I was a good mother, or if I could ever be a good enough mum for her. Every. Day.

I wonder if she has enough to eat, I wonder if she has enough sleep, I wonder if I'm spending enough time with her, I wonder if I'm being too harsh on her, I wonder if I'm teaching her good manners, I wonder if I should read more to her, I wonder if she has enough help with her school work, I wonder if she has too little time to play, I wonder if she is being bullied, I wonder if SHE is the bully... sigh. I'm sure all parents can relate??

I can't even keep a plant alive. How do I raise a little human being with no prior experience, no training, and no real control on life's curve-balls?

Some days, motherhood can be hard and I find myself sobbing hard and feeling like such a failure.
Some days though, I feel that I'm doing all right.

Days like the ones where I receive small but significant messages like these below..

I always tell the boy not to buy me flowers during Valentine's Day as I think it's a huge waste of money what with the exorbitant jacked-up prices.

This year, the boy messaged that Lil Pumpkin actually used her own money & bought flowers for him, so that he can give them to me and make me happy!!!  Oh what did I do to deserve such a sweet, darling daughter??!

And then over the weekend, her classmate's mummy told me how sweet and caring Lil Pumpkin was to her friend when she was sick in school the previous day. Aww.. it really made my heart swoon with love and pride for Lil Pumpkin!! ❤

Yes, I may not be a perfect mother, but I must be doing something right to raise such a sweet, kind and loving girl.

Actually, WE.. the boy and I, are doing something right together as her parents. The boy doesn't speak of it much, but I know sometimes he does have doubts over his fatherhood skills too.

I just want him to know that he is an awesome dad, and I would never be able to survive this parenting jig without him. He is my support, and my strength on the toughest days and I'm really grateful that he's always been hands-on and involved in taking care of Lil Pumpkin from Day 1. Thank you for loving the both of us so, so much.

We're doing all right as parents, Poogeo... we're doing all right. Our dear Lil Pumpkin is living proof of that.


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7 comments:

Susan said...

You guys ARE raising her well and doing a great job. I saw that WA message that you shared and she's so thoughtful and caring towards her classmate, certainly not what a bully will do :) We are usually our worst critics and am too hard on ourselves. Just got to remember that we are to steward this little life that we've been blessed with the trust God that His hand in upon their lives to guide them too :)

Michelle Hon said...

The fact that you're wondering if you're a good enough mother, makes you a good mum. Well done on raising a thoughtful and considerate daughter, Ai.

Shubhada Bhide said...

As a mom, these moments of self-doubt are common I guess. As ling as kids are showing the behavior of a good human being, all is well. Must pat your back, Mummy!

Theresa Mahoney said...

I think you are doing an amazing job with Little Pumpkin. She seems like such a caring, happy, well rounded little (almost) 8 year old!

Geraldine said...

I can relate to all those thought bubbles! I think about how they are coping with life.. all the time. Amazing job mama, lil pumpkin is growing up so well!

alissa apel said...

She's a great girl. You both are great parents!

Jacqualine Chan said...

I laughed when you said that you couldn't even keep a plant alive... cuz me too! But I think children are born to be more resilient than plants? And somehow.. I feel that we are all natural parents as compared to natural green fingers. hehe.

Great job, lil pumpkin! Aunties here are so proud of u too! <3