Sunday, November 2, 2014

Celebrate Fatherhood: Life Changes as a Dad | Guestpost by Collin, I.T. Security Consultant

Sakura Haruka is not a blog just about celebrating motherhood. It shares the joys {& frustrations!} of parenting and of families as a whole. Inspired by my hubby's thoughts on being a dad, Celebrate Fatherhood is thus a monthly series where daddies from all walks of life share insights about what fatherhood means to them, and how we can appreciate their role in a family too.

I sincerely thank all those who took the time to guest post for me. Most of those I approached were very supportive and enthusiastic about this new series, sharing my belief that being an involved dad, and getting the dads involved, is important in building a strong family. If you have a story to share, please email me at sakuraharuka {at} live {dot} com.

I was surprised when Ai asked me to guest post for this Fatherhood series on her parenting blog. I gladly obliged and I hope my thoughts below would encourage more males to embrace fatherhood.

To me, fatherhood means two things to me. Firstly, it means spending more quality time with my family. Secondly, it means learning to adapt to changes quickly.

Ever since my status was upgraded to a "father", I would always want to quickly finish my work and get home. My son, Reuben sleeps anytime between 8.30pm to 9.30pm. If I am home late from work, my time with him will be very short or I might totally miss the chance to bond with him. To me, spending quality time with him and my wife is my top priority now. What does quality time mean to me? it means having conversations with him and my wife together as a family and also doing night activities together such as bed time story-reading and other home learning activities. It is not watching TV together where we are glued to the screen most of the time without any interaction.

For those who know me, I do not adapt to changes very fast. I need time to settle down. Having a kid means that I have to learn to quickly adapt to my kid’s ever fast changing sleeping and eating habits. One moment, he would be able to sleep peacefully at bed time. Another day, he might be screaming until 12 midnight! An infant is unpredictable. You will never know what you would get from him/her. But this makes life more fun. If everything is so predictable, won’t it be a tad boring?

Today, even though there is a lot advocating daddies to be heavily involved in family building, daddies still somehow seem to be overshadowed by the mummies. Daddies need to work as the breadwinner in the family. This means time is limited to the nights and weekends. Being limited, you see lesser articles or mentions about daddies. If we do shift work, time might be even more limited.

I believe why we daddies want to work so hard is because we want to provide a better life for our families. Even more so for those families whose dads are the sole breadwinner. It is never the issue about being a workaholic. For me, I thank GOD for my beautiful wife that constantly supports, encourage and love me. Even though there are nights that I have to work late, she will try her best to take care of the kid at home. I feel that most daddies love to be appreciated by words or little actions. Sometimes a little encouragement helps us daddies to run a longer journey.

I would want to leave this to all fathers to be. “Never ever underestimate your role as a dad. The words that you speak will have a lasting impact on your kid’s life!”

Collin  is a young father to Reuben, and husband to Xinyi. When not busy with work as an I.T. Security Consultant or family, he jots down parenting memories on Daddy Chow & the Spunky Kids.

I've certainly seen lots of sacrifices and adjustments from hubby. From someone who freely enjoys watching movies or going to the gym 5-6 times per week, he's had to fit in his hobbies in between his own work, fetching us around Singapore, helping Lil Pumpkin with her Chinese revision, running various family errands etc. From someone who has pretty anal sleeping habits, he's had to accommodate the numerous night wakings from Lil Pumpkin since birth {thank goodness she's much better now!} and help with her night feedings and cradling when she was a baby. He has always been a hands-on dad who's not afraid to get his hands dirty in diapers, or to come at a short phone call to whenever we need him.

I believe a lot of dads work behind-the-scenes without want of any recognition and though we may know in our hearts and minds that we appreciate them, like Collin said, a little outward encouragement is never too much.


1 comment:

Masshole Mommy said...

I know there are dads who like to stay behind the scenes. My husband is one of them, but I call him out on his awesomeness as a dad all the time. I am proud that he is such an amazing dad and I love to share it with the world :)