Alpha Loom by Rainbow Loom | How to Use & FAQs #happyfathersday

Together with the new Hair Loom Studio Double {kit to put Rainbow Loom creations in your hair}, I got the new Alpha Loom kit as well. It's supposed make looming those thick, personalised bracelets with alphabets and patterns much easier and faster.

Each kit comes with 1 Alpha Loom, 1 Alpha Comb, 1 metal hook, 48 C-clips, around 600 Alpha Bands {red, black, yellow, white & blue}, around 600 clear Rainbow Loom bands and 1 instructions manual.

In the manual are handy picture tutorials on how to use the Alpha Loom as well as sample layouts for the alphabets, basic shapes and symbols. It also has a sample design template which you can photocopy, or download blank Alpha Loom design templates here. 

For my first Alpha Loom creation, I decided to make a personalised black & white bracelet for the boy as a diy gift for his Father's Day!! Handmade gifts are still the best, I feel. Last year I made him a one-of-a-kind Luffy Rainbow Loom doll for Father's Day which he still cherishes.

The hardest part was actually planning the bracelet design to make sure that the alphabets were evenly spaced and in the middle of the bracelet. I used 5 rows, instead of all 7, to save on the bands as I wasn't sure if there were enough of each colour to finish up. Thankfully, there was. Phew!

For the alphabet design, I referenced from Justin Toy's alphabet chart as each alphabet design is "bolder" than the ones shown in the kit manual, so can show up easier on the bracelet.

After the design work, the looming bit was actually pretty easy once you got the hang of it. Even though it's small and portable like the Monster Tail loom and Finger Loom, I think it's better to work at the table when using the Alpha Loom as full concentration is needed. If you make a mistake on any row, it'll mess up the whole creation.

I found that the Alpha Comb was extremely useful in making the work less tedious and faster since it can hook up all the rows at one shot. I completed the boy's adult bracelet in about 1.5 hours {including time to sort the colours}, and it was just my first try!

Also, the specially-designed Alpha Bands means that there's no need to double-loop or use 2 bands to get the same thickness or tightness that's usually seen in thick bracelets or character looms. I made a "Mum" charm for my mummy but with the regular Rainbow Loom bands. Since I had to double-loop it each time, it took a longer time. Actually, next time I might just use Alpha Bands in my character looms too. So much more convenient!

Can't wait to work on other name bracelets and cute designs for Hello Kitty, Pac Man, Disney Princesses etc.!

Lil Pumpkin made a Father's Day card for her daddy dearest. I think her drawing of him was pretty spot-on!! We love you very much dear!

Wishing all dads, especially hubby & my own dad, a very Happy Father's Day too!

Thanks for being the pillar of strength and support in all our families ♥

*****

Frequently Asked Questions {FAQs}

1. Where can I buy the Alpha Loom kit?
In Singapore, you can get an official Alpha Loom kit from Rainbow Loom Singapore and their listed retailers. It costs S$19.90.

2. Are Alpha Bands the same as usual Rainbow Loom bands?
No, Alpha Bands are specially designed for the Alpha Loom so are flatter, smaller and less stretchy. Alpha Bands can stretch up to 3 pegs, while normal Rainbow Loom bands can stretch up to 7 pegs.

3. Where can I buy Alpha Bands refill?
Currently not sold in Singapore {will update later if I see them}, but you can order online at the Rainbow Loom US website. Colours are quite limited though as it's still a very new product {just released in mid-May 2015}. 

4. What if I don't have Alpha Bands in the colours I want?
Just use the regular Rainbow Loom bands! They’re a little larger than the Alpha Bands, so double-loop it each time, or the creations will turn out larger.

5. Is it difficult to use?
I'd say it is not for Rainbow Loom beginners or young children like Lil Pumpkin {kit is recommended for kids aged 8 and over}, but definitely not hard to pick up either. Prior knowledge on how to use a normal Rainbow Loom is really useful.

6. Where can I find more Alpha Loom creation ideas?
Check out Loom n' Bands for free Alpha Loom pattern templates, online tutorials from e.g. Made for Mummy, and of course my fave Pinterest {see my Rainbow Loom board} for inspiration （⌒▽⌒ゞ

7. Any tips for using?
a. As with other Rainbow Loom creations, follow a basic template first to practise before starting on harder designs or improvising your own.
b. Always hold the Alpha Loom with the circle facing towards you so that it lines up exactly with your pattern template.
c. Cross out the row you've finished on the design template so that you won't get confused at where you're at.
d. Try to finish your creation in one sitting so that it doesn't stay on the loom too long & gets over-stretched.
e. Never forget your row connectors!

8. What if I made a mistake?
Watch this video on how to fix an Alpha Loom mistake.

If you have the Alpha Loom too, I'd love to see the designs you've made! Come email me your photos or share with me on Facebook page & Instagram! (★^O^★)

* Disclosure: This is a review for Rainbow Loom Singapore. All opinions are my own.

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Celebrate Fatherhood: A Natural Feeling | Guestpost by Steven, Sales Operations

Sakura Haruka is not a blog just about celebrating motherhood. It shares the joys {& frustrations!} of parenting and of families as a whole. Inspired by my hubby's thoughts on being a dad, Celebrate Fatherhood is thus a monthly series where daddies from all walks of life share insights about what fatherhood means to them, and how we can appreciate their role in a family too.

I sincerely thank all those who took the time to guest post for me. Most of those I approached were very supportive and enthusiastic about this new series, sharing my belief that being an involved dad, and getting the dads involved, is important in building a strong family. If you have a story to share, please email me at sakuraharuka {at} live {dot} com.

*****

I always knew wanted to have kids of my own but if you ask me why, I don't think I could think of an answer. Maybe I should just say that it was a feeling. I just feel like becoming a daddy. Perhaps that was the reason why I got married young, at 24. My wife was my polytechnic classmate then but we only got together after graduation and our relationship survived my National Service days.

We bought our first HDB flat just as I was barely settling into my first job. It was a huge purchase then but we managed to survive. We had the 3-room flat all to ourselves. Looking back then, the flat was huge but just a little quiet though.

We had been saving up for our customary marriage and we finally did that when I was in my second job, putting ourselves through part-time degree courses along the way. Thinking back, I can't help but feel proud. However, we still lacked something.

The time was finally ripe and we thought that having our own kids would be easy but it wasn't. For us, it was many months of waiting, multiple visits to the specialists and constant self-doubts before we finally conceived. We were over the moon with the news.

It was a joyous occasion in our family but we dare not announce the pregnancy before the first trimester, hence no one else knew. That also meant that we had to keep our grief to ourselves weeks later, for we lost our baby before the end of the first trimester. The gynecologist had no answers for us except that the baby's heart just stopped beating.

Our only consolation was that we were still young and thankfully we conceived Steffi less than half a year after the unfortunate incident. Steffi became our little precious, the center of our married life and finally jump-started our parenthood journey.

As with all firstborns, Steffi got to enjoy our undivided attention. We had our many firsts with her. My first time holding a newborn barely minutes old in my arms, my first time changing diapers, bathing a baby, my first time bringing a baby swimming and many more.

We enjoyed our parenting experience with Steffi so much that we didn't mind having another baby the moment we could and Leroy was born 602 days later. A daughter and a son would have been more than enough for most Singaporean couples, but not for us! We had initially wanted to stop at having our third child, Stacci, but seeing how cute our kids were, we just couldn’t help but want more.

Being a father to my 4 wonderful kids is definitely a privilege. Something that is precious and wonderful, something that money cannot buy too. The simple hug from the kids and their genuine smiles when they see me when I get home at the end of a hectic work day is worth every sacrifice made. The saying that one can never fully understand their parents, until one becomes a parent definitely holds water.

My relationship with my Dad had always been just so so, for my dad is not someone who shows concerns outwardly or verbalizes his love for his kids. This is an area I am trying to improve on, with my own kids. My kids are all close to me for now, and I hope that it will continue to be this way even when they grow up. That to me, would be the biggest appreciation from them.

*****

Steven is in sales operations and a father to 4 kids ranging from 6 months to 6 years of age. He recently started blogging about his parenting experience at The Perfect Father and is absolutely enjoying the journey right now!

Until I became a parent too, I never fully understood the pain and hardship my own parents went through. It made me appreciate them more for the things they did and sacrifices they made for the whole family. I count that as one of the blessings of me being a mother too.

Read all Celebrate Fatherhood posts here.

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Celebrate Fatherhood: What to Expect When You Have a Baby | Guestpost by Sebastian, Managing Director

Sakura Haruka is not a blog just about celebrating motherhood. It shares the joys {& frustrations!} of parenting and of families as a whole. Inspired by my hubby's thoughts on being a dad, Celebrate Fatherhood is thus a monthly series where daddies from all walks of life share insights about what fatherhood means to them, and how we can appreciate their role in a family too.

I sincerely thank all those who took the time to guest post for me. Most of those I approached were very supportive and enthusiastic about this new series, sharing my belief that being an involved dad, and getting the dads involved, is important in building a strong family. If you have a story to share, please email me at sakuraharuka {at} live {dot} com.

*****

With a daughter that just turns 8 months old, I am considered a relatively new father. With 8 months of experience into fatherhood, I will say that no amount of pre-natal courses, books or chit chat sessions with other dads can make 1 well-prepared for fatherhood. In my job I have encountered many children, parents and teachers, but all those talks, discussion are mere talks and discussion until you have your baby to hold in your hands.

Here’s my personal list of “What to expect when you have a baby”

#1: It’s love at first sight

Most dads will tell you that the first time they set eyes on their babies, it is love at first sight. And yes, from the moment I set eyes on my gal, it was love at first sight! From the tiny face down to the tiny hands and feet, I can’t help to feel a sense of satisfaction that this is indeed my “production”. The triumphant feeling to hold this little bundle in your arms is immeasurable. And I guess I will never forget this moment even when my little girl grow up to be an adult, a wife and even a mother.

#2: Dirty is never a word in your dictionary

Being a grown-up with a normal sense of hygiene, I used to find kids poo and saliva yucky. But now? Apart from the usual pool of saliva that will linger on my shirt and my arms, I have even started to analyze the poo that my gal pass out!

#3: Baby talks is a natural reflex

Before Chloe is born, I told myself that I will not want to be one of those silly dads who talk to their baby in a baby way in public. However, no matter how many times I have to remind myself that I am NOT the baby, I just can help to imitate and coo at my baby in the way she communicates to us… And at times, I will even take the extra mile to imitate her actions!

#4: You can never maintain the same pre-baby lifestyle

Those late nights at work, going to gym or even overseas trip need to take backseat when you have a baby. Sometimes, it’s just matter of choosing to go back early to spend time with your family or working late in the office.

#5: Murphy’s Law rules

Rushing to get out of the house? Your baby will decide to poo/ cry to milk at the moment. Need to work late after baby sleeps? She will decide to stay up and play a little longer pass her bedtime. Having dinner date with friends? She will be cranky and want to go home… The list goes on….

#6: They grow up too fast

8 months into fatherhood and I am starting to feel that Chloe is growing too fast! Before I know it, she has turned from a little newborn that only drink and sleep to an infant that jumps on seeing you back from work. Sometimes, I can’t help but hope that time will slow down for me to spend more time enjoying every single stages and every single milestones that my gal has achieved.

Fatherhood is indeed a challenging role, but it an enjoyable experience. Apart from seeing the little bundle grows up, my wife and I have also grown up, from a young couple enjoying each other company to a little family with a play gal to take care.

Marriage has its responsibility but I would say there is a significant hike in the level of responsibility that a man or women needs to take from the mere role of a husband or wife to that of a father or mother.

We start to think more before we act, even simple decision like which car to buy, which airline to book have an added layer of consideration now that there’s a dear little gal in our life.

*****

An ex-banker turn entrepreneur, Sebastian is the managing director of JLB Educational Technology Pte Ltd, the company that brought us “Pen Pal Whizz”, the electronic reading system for little ones. He is a guy who enjoys outdoor sports and a workout in the gym. Married to Gwen, they just have a lovely little baby gal name Chloe in March this year.

There really isn't a "baby manual" per se and every parent knows that not everything in the "expert" baby books will apply to us all the time, if even at all! So, it's really great to hear from actual parents themselves who share the real ups and downs that they experience when parenting their own kids. Thanks for giving us an insight into your world as a new-dad to a baby girl, Sebastian! :)

Read all Celebrate Fatherhood posts here.

*****

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Celebrate Fatherhood: Life Changes as a Dad | Guestpost by Collin, I.T. Security Consultant

Sakura Haruka is not a blog just about celebrating motherhood. It shares the joys {& frustrations!} of parenting and of families as a whole. Inspired by my hubby's thoughts on being a dad, Celebrate Fatherhood is thus a monthly series where daddies from all walks of life share insights about what fatherhood means to them, and how we can appreciate their role in a family too.

I sincerely thank all those who took the time to guest post for me. Most of those I approached were very supportive and enthusiastic about this new series, sharing my belief that being an involved dad, and getting the dads involved, is important in building a strong family. If you have a story to share, please email me at sakuraharuka {at} live {dot} com.

*****

I was surprised when Ai asked me to guest post for this Fatherhood series on her parenting blog. I gladly obliged and I hope my thoughts below would encourage more males to embrace fatherhood.

To me, fatherhood means two things to me. Firstly, it means spending more quality time with my family. Secondly, it means learning to adapt to changes quickly.

Ever since my status was upgraded to a "father", I would always want to quickly finish my work and get home. My son, Reuben sleeps anytime between 8.30pm to 9.30pm. If I am home late from work, my time with him will be very short or I might totally miss the chance to bond with him. To me, spending quality time with him and my wife is my top priority now. What does quality time mean to me? it means having conversations with him and my wife together as a family and also doing night activities together such as bed time story-reading and other home learning activities. It is not watching TV together where we are glued to the screen most of the time without any interaction.

For those who know me, I do not adapt to changes very fast. I need time to settle down. Having a kid means that I have to learn to quickly adapt to my kid’s ever fast changing sleeping and eating habits. One moment, he would be able to sleep peacefully at bed time. Another day, he might be screaming until 12 midnight! An infant is unpredictable. You will never know what you would get from him/her. But this makes life more fun. If everything is so predictable, won’t it be a tad boring?

Today, even though there is a lot advocating daddies to be heavily involved in family building, daddies still somehow seem to be overshadowed by the mummies. Daddies need to work as the breadwinner in the family. This means time is limited to the nights and weekends. Being limited, you see lesser articles or mentions about daddies. If we do shift work, time might be even more limited.

I believe why we daddies want to work so hard is because we want to provide a better life for our families. Even more so for those families whose dads are the sole breadwinner. It is never the issue about being a workaholic. For me, I thank GOD for my beautiful wife that constantly supports, encourage and love me. Even though there are nights that I have to work late, she will try her best to take care of the kid at home. I feel that most daddies love to be appreciated by words or little actions. Sometimes a little encouragement helps us daddies to run a longer journey.

I would want to leave this to all fathers to be. “Never ever underestimate your role as a dad. The words that you speak will have a lasting impact on your kid’s life!”

*****

Collin  is a young father to Reuben, and husband to Xinyi. When not busy with work as an I.T. Security Consultant or family, he jots down parenting memories on Daddy Chow & the Spunky Kids.

I've certainly seen lots of sacrifices and adjustments from hubby. From someone who freely enjoys watching movies or going to the gym 5-6 times per week, he's had to fit in his hobbies in between his own work, fetching us around Singapore, helping Lil Pumpkin with her Chinese revision, running various family errands etc. From someone who has pretty anal sleeping habits, he's had to accommodate the numerous night wakings from Lil Pumpkin since birth {thank goodness she's much better now!} and help with her night feedings and cradling when she was a baby. He has always been a hands-on dad who's not afraid to get his hands dirty in diapers, or to come at a short phone call to whenever we need him.

I believe a lot of dads work behind-the-scenes without want of any recognition and though we may know in our hearts and minds that we appreciate them, like Collin said, a little outward encouragement is never too much.

Read all Celebrate Fatherhood posts here.

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Celebrate Fatherhood: Being Isabel's Father | Guestpost by Jith, Daddy Advisor

Sakura Haruka is not a blog just about celebrating motherhood. It shares the joys {& frustrations!} of parenting and of families as a whole. Inspired by my hubby's thoughts on being a dad, Celebrate Fatherhood is thus a monthly series where daddies from all walks of life share insights about what fatherhood means to them, and how we can appreciate their role in a family too.

I sincerely thank all those who took the time to guest post for me. Most of those I approached were very supportive and enthusiastic about this new series, sharing my belief that being an involved dad, and getting the dads involved, is important in building a strong family. If you have a story to share, please email me at sakuraharuka {at} live {dot} com.

*****

My journey into fatherhood began in June 2013 with the arrival of my daughter Isabel, a bundle of joy and nearly non-stop energy. Seeing her open her eyes to look at me for the first time as she lay swaddled in the labour room was a moment I will never forget as long as I live. With her arrival into my world, I realised I could never be truly prepared for what the role of a father entailed. Having a father who worked abroad for most of my childhood, I realised very early on what a great sacrifice my own father had made to provide for our family while missing out on all the little miracles of watching us grow up. Given how blessed we are now as a result of all his sacrifices, I promised myself that I will be there to witness my own daughter’s little miracles as she grows up.

Isa, as we like to call her affectionately, is now 15 months old and growing up (too quickly to be honest!) into a lovely daughter who loves animals, the great outdoors and spending time with us playing, reading and doing silly things around our home. When I saw her copy the things we do, I realised that with parenthood comes great responsibilities - and as a father, the responsibility to nurture this little girl to be a kind, loving and gentle person while helping her grow up into a wonderful human being who will make a meaningful difference in the lives of those around her. Despite the occasional parenting boo-boos, I can’t be more happier with this new role in my life.

In a society that has many expectations and opinions of what a father should be and must do, I find it is easier to create my own path and fulfill the expectations that I set for myself rather than compare myself to many others. And in the moments when I stumble or miss out on some of those responsibilities, I’m glad I have my wife to point out my shortcomings (any wonder why they are called the “better halves”?) and who helps me become a better father. During the rare days when I feel completely lost or left out of the parenting equation, it helps to know I have my parents and friends whom I can reach out to tap into their experience of parenting and bring up kids. Although parenting styles have evolved, the fundamentals of parenting still remain the same and I feel it is important we pass on good values to our children as parents. It also helps that I look towards my own father as my role model. Despite his absence in my early years, his commitment to his family, his unconditional love for us and tenacity to persevere are some of his qualities that I hold close to my heart now that I am a father too.

I also firmly believe it is important to celebrate and feature fathers as positive role-models more prominently in our society and our media. Dad’s For Life is one such outreach programme that has been quite diligent in promoting positive father figures. Even though we don’t give out the “Best Dad of the Year” award to fathers - I’m sure the love of our children and the joy of watching them grow up is the best award any father can receive. I know for sure that seeing the smile on Isa’s face and the big sloppy kisses I get when I return from work is the best sign of appreciation I get as a father.

My only advice to new fathers (if I can consider myself worthy), is to enjoy the experiences that fatherhood offers and to let our children grow and develop in their own time. Our fast paced society demands much from us - our time, our health and ultimately our relationships - so take it easy, put away the smartphones (note to self!), cuddle with your children, read a book, cook up a storm and dance away the worries the day throws at you.

Carpe Diem, fathers!

*****

Jith has a curious malady of sticking his finger in too many pies. Other than advising start-ups on branding and communications, scuba-diving in search of sunken marine treasures, cooking up a storm in the kitchen most weekends and generally taking way too many pictures of Isabel to blackmail her someday, he’s a pretty decent chap married to Rachana - who puts up with all his nonsense, very kindly!

It does get pretty distracting when you compare yourself to other parents and like Jith, I've come to realise that parenthood is not a battle against other parents to see who has the "best" kid or who has the "best" parenting style.. rather, it is a journey with our own kids. It may be slower than some, it may be harder than some, but at least it is rich with our own meaningful learning and experiences!

Read all Celebrate Fatherhood posts here.

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Celebrate Fatherhood: Ethan & I | Guestpost by Walter, Daddy Content Marketing Specialist

Sakura Haruka is not a blog just about celebrating motherhood. It shares the joys {& frustrations!} of parenting and of families as a whole. Inspired by my hubby's thoughts on being a dad, Celebrate Fatherhood is thus a monthly series where daddies from all walks of life share insights about what fatherhood means to them, and how we can appreciate their role in a family too.

I sincerely thank all those who took the time to guest post for me. Most of those I approached were very supportive and enthusiastic about this new series, sharing my belief that being an involved dad, and getting the dads involved, is important in building a strong family. If you have a story to share, please email me at sakuraharuka {at} live {dot} com.

*****

What does being a dad mean? How has it changed my life?

For me, the journey began almost 11 years ago in end 2003 when my son Ethan was born. I still remember every single detail of that day with vivid clarity. It was about 1.50 pm in the afternoon when Ethan literally greeted us with a wink - one eye was open while the other remained shut. Covered in pink slime, he didn't really wail as loudly as many other babies. Instead, he wore a somewhat placid (bemused?) expression on his face.

While Ethan's initial months were tiring with diaper changes and midnight feeds, it felt magical to watch him grow and develop so quickly (and cutely). I can still recall his first heart-melting smile at three months of age. Blessed with a cheery nature, Ethan has always been generous with his Cheshire cat-like grin or uproarious laughter.

As Ethan grew to become a toddler, kid and tween, we inculcated in him a love for reading. To stimulate his fascination for stories, I fabricated a fantasy fable named "Fortune Cat" woven around the imaginary escapades of a Japanese maneki-neko (lucky cat) and his motley band of magical animal friends. Lying beside him on the bed at night, I'd relate the story until my creative juices ran dry or we fell asleep - whichever came sooner!

Exploring the great outdoors was also a shared interest in our family. Our favourite hangout is the lush and tranquil Singapore Botanic Gardens. This love for wildlife is also reflected in our preferred holiday choices - from the Canadian Rockies and Grand Canyon to marsupial-rich Tasmania. It is incredible how many hours we can trek up hills, down valleys or across fields, energised by Mother Nature in all her untamed splendour!

Naturally, fatherhood isn't always fun and games. There will be times where you need to discipline your kid to dispel bad habits while inculcating positive behaviours. While both my wife and I try to be consistent parents, I tend to be the stricter of the two. Fortunately, we hardly have to use the cane. Often a menacing look and stern warning is enough to achieve the desired effect!

One of the greatest challenges in being a father in Singapore is balancing between nagging your kid to study or allowing him to play. As academic and peer pressure mounts with the dreaded PSLE just 13 months away, we are often faced with the dilemma of cutting him some slack or drilling him to do more exercises to strengthen the subjects he is weak in. It certainly doesn't help when you hear stories from parents with "superkids" who ace their exams and achieve Grade 8 for their music without tuition!

Before I go, I wish to advice all digital dads (myself included) to prevent smartphones or tablets from becoming "surrogate fathers". If possible, delay your kids' introduction to technology as much as possible - you really don't need much education to master the iPad! Instead, spend time engaging in face-to-face conversations with your child, explore new places and spaces, or do fun physical stuff together.

*****

Thought leader, book nerd, information junkie and Google+ geek, Walter blogs about business, marketing, social influence and PR at Cooler Insights. Previously the director of corporate communications at a major statutory board, Walter is currently reinventing himself as a content marketing specialist and social influence entrepreneur.

Being a parenting in Singapore sure comes with its fair share of "stress" in trying to find a balance between making sure our daughter is well-prepared to face our current local school system, and making sure she does not forgo the joy and freedom of childhood. We want her to have the academic skills to cope with school, and also believe that a child should have her childhood to play, to relax and discover the world they entered not long ago. Life skills are just as important as academic skills. It's a tough juggle and it's somewhat comforting to know that we're not the only ones who feel that way!

Read all Celebrate Fatherhood posts here.

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Celebrate Fatherhood: Life with My Girls As An Entrepreneur | Guestpost by Boon, Daddy Photographer

Sakura Haruka is not a blog just about celebrating motherhood. It shares the joys {& frustrations!} of parenting and of families as a whole. Inspired by my hubby's thoughts on being a dad, Celebrate Fatherhood is thus a monthly series where daddies from all walks of life share insights about what fatherhood means to them, and how we can appreciate their role in a family too.

I sincerely thank all those who took the time to guest post for me. Most of those I approached were very supportive and enthusiastic about this new series, sharing my belief that being an involved dad, and getting the dads involved, is important in building a strong family. If you have a story to share, please email me at sakuraharuka {at} live {dot} com.

*****

I was astonished when Ai Sakura wanted me to be a guest blogger for her Celebrate Fatherhood series. Bear with me, I am no writer who can write something fanciful.

I had written it days after. But I decided to rewrite everything because things had changed for the better! I am glad that everything is mostly sunshine now.

All thanks to my lovely wife, parents and the kids. They know that I am building up my own career, hence the support from them is the greatest gift I can receive so that I can pursue my dreams. Such supportive action is very important; without which, my chances of failure are very high. I really feel appreciated more than anything else. It is never easy, but I am still willing to try.

No doubt that because I am self-employed now, I have times to send my kids to and fro the school. I am very happy whenever I see the smiley cheeky face behind the wooden door with the see-through window. Let’s not talk about the "vomit blood" times when they test my patience and make my blood pressure go up! (Indeed, I have it now!)

Since starting my own business, I've decided to be more proactive into exercising with my girls - taking it as an opportunity to lose some weight, and getting them away from being a TV addict! Times like these are important bonding sessions for us!

I am looking forward to have more game time with them - cards, board games and even chess! Now, the daddy seems to be a little kid too, despite being very strict at home. It is better to discipline them well now than let them get in trouble with the laws later.

Although the path is long and tiring, I don't have any complain at all. We were once like them before, and the cycle will just keep going on and on. I believe that they will be more sensible when they grow older and understand the value of everything.

*****

Boon Ong is a father to Caitlyne & Claryne, and husband to a research specialist. A professional photographer, he is currently setting up his own media production company that deals with photo, video and audio productions. Since 2008, he has been documenting his fatherhood journey on his blog, and sharing his views on media and technology here.

Well, they say behind every successful man is a woman.. and in Boon's case, there are 3! :P Nonetheless, his story really shows how important appreciation and support from the family affects the dads - it can make or break them. I've said that there's "me" in motherhood. Well, dads have their own dreams as individuals too and being in a family means making sure everyone gets to achieve their hopes and dreams together :)

Read all Celebrate Fatherhood posts here.

*****

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Celebrate Fatherhood: What Does "Fatherhood" Mean Nowadays? | Guestpost by Paul, Daddy IT Consultant

Sakura Haruka is not a blog just about celebrating motherhood. It shares the joys {& frustrations!} of parenting and of families as a whole. Inspired by my hubby's thoughts on being a dad, Celebrate Fatherhood is thus a monthly series where daddies from all walks of life share insights about what fatherhood means to them, and how we can appreciate their role in a family too.

I sincerely thank all those who took the time to guest post for me. Most of those I approached were very supportive and enthusiastic about this new series, sharing my belief that being an involved dad, and getting the dads involved, is important in building a strong family. If you have a story to share, please email me at sakuraharuka {at} live {dot} com.

*****

It was love at first sight the moment our eyes met minutes after my son was born. I can still vividly remember the sense of wonder and love that I felt as I cradle this tiny life in my arms. I remember how excited I was celebrating each and every one of the major milestones. And the fantastic thing about living in our connected world is the instant updates I’ll get from my wife wherever I am through whatsapp/facebook/emails with the latest videos and photos she would take of him. I look at my 4 year old boy now reading, running, playing football, cracking “knock knock jokes” and I wonder how did all the years flew by. I think only a parent would understand the desire for our children to grow up quickly and yet lament at the same time on how we missed their younger days.

I was asked to write about what Fatherhood means to me. To me, the notion of fatherhood seems to have changed so dramatically in my lifetime.

My grandfather had a very hands-off approach to the way he raised my father and my aunt. He was a sailor who was seldom home and even when he was, it was always a distant relationship where my father feared and respected him. I remembered him as a man of few words when I was growing up. I would always fondly remember how he would be happily reading his daily morning news, oblivious to the chaos his grandchildren was creating.

My father was based abroad for work for around 10 years since I was 13. It must have been the strong bonds built when I was younger but I’ve never felt distant from my dad. We would have regular long distance calls in those days when such calls were expensive and my mum would often remind us the sacrifices my dad is making to be away from us to provide for the family.

In my family, you could say that the notion of fatherhood for the past 2 generations has been the traditional Father brings home the bacon; the mum stays at home to raise the children. Although my wife did not plan to stop work after giving birth, she decided to quit her job to be a stay-home mum after she had a major operation to remove a tumor. As my wife puts it, sometime God has a strange way of revealing His plans for us.

Even though 3 generations of fathers in my family has been the traditional breadwinner while the wives stayed home to raise the family, I feel that the demands of fatherhood have changed dramatically. Fatherhood for my grandfather did not include household chores, playing and reading to the children. My father helped out with the household chores and played with us whenever he could but diaper changing remains a novelty. When I survey the fathers among my friends, diaper changing is the norm and most of them perform the same tasks as their wife in raising the children. Fathers these days are also participating more in their children’s life. I see more and more dads at school functions/play dates etc. Given that both fathers and mothers are performing similar roles and tasks these days, is the notion of fatherhood still relevant or has the concept of parenthood taken over?

I was speaking to some of my friends who are working mums and we were challenging the term “working mums” in different ways. To them, they question the need to differentiate working mums vs stay-home mums since both group of mothers play the same equally important role of raising their children. To me, I question the term on the basis of gender equality. The term “working dad” never caught on given that in most societies by default, the male is expected to be working for the family. Yet in the changing society norm where fathers are expected to play a bigger role in raising and taking care of the children, is it still fair to highlight the struggles of working mums when millions of working dads faces similar challenges as them in balancing both work and family life?

I pointed out to my wife that working mums these days have so many champions (Sheryl Sandberg) and support groups but where is the equivalent for men? Is it normal or acceptable for a man to choose to slow down in his career and earn less in order to spend more time with the family? Am I being selfish or irresponsible if I choose not to work hard and go for the promotion in order to have an additional one hour every night at home to read stories to my son and put him to bed? Is a good father one who can provide the material best for the family or someone who is around to spend quality time with the family? I do not know whether all fathers throughout the ages faced such dilemmas or is this a recent phenomenon faced by fathers of my generation. Being the geek I am, I googled and found that I was not alone. A 2011 report by A Better Balance: The Work and Family Legal Center, an American legal advocacy organization, revealed that nearly 85 percent of fathers feel pressure to be both a financial provider and an engaged parent, and three out of four fathers worry that their jobs do not allow them to be the kind of dads that want to be. My wise wife said that these are personal family decisions that should be made jointly by both husband and wife and they should be responsible for the joint decision they take and ignore the opinions of others.

I am fortunate to be working in an organization where flexible working arrangement is available and I have the flexibility to work from home. The nature of my work is that as long as I have internet connection, a laptop/smartphone, I can work anywhere in the world. The benefits of such arrangement is that I have the luxury of sending and picking my son from school sometimes, attend school plays/functions and basically playing a bigger part in my son’s life than a father in a regular 9-5 job. However the flip side is that there is no clear demarcation anymore between personal life and work life. Even when I’m home, I can be having meetings and conference calls past usual working hours. Emails follow me on holidays and sometimes I find myself thinking of work even during weekends when I’m out with the family. It takes tremendous amount of discipline to stay in the here and now and it’s something that I’m trying to consciously remind myself all the time when I’m with the family. It’s no use just being physically there, be mentally there as well to respond to your children.

My family shows their appreciation for me in many different ways. My wife would send me videos and pictures of them having fun together with the message “Thanks for working hard for us Daddy!” My son draws me cards and my wife makes sure that we have our own little family hug and special song and dance whenever we can. These are special moments that I treasure and hold close to. Although I constantly worry about whether I can be the best daddy to Ryan, I know that my family will always love and appreciate all that I do for them.

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Paul is a die-hard Man Utd fan who named his son after Ryan Giggs. When he’s not watching football or trying to be a photographer, he works as an IT project manager in a consultancy firm. His wife, Meiru runs Flip for Joy, an online children’s bookstore that provides quality Chinese books for children ages 0-9.

I guess it's true many of us are not vocal in challenging the term "working dads" and maybe we should, because like mums, dads are "working" full-time whether they have jobs outside the house, or when they come home. Like Paul, the boy is a very involved father and helps out a lot with the household chores. Even now although his diaper duty is over, he's still on bath-time duty and poo-poo toilet duty.  It is not a novelty to him, and actually something we have come to expect of him {sometimes when he comes home late Lil Pumpkin would still want to wait for him so that he can bathe her~}.

Fatherhood has certainly changed through the ages and just as more mums are stepping out of the household, more dads are stepping in. And that is a good thing, that deserves more support and recognition :)

Read all Celebrate Fatherhood posts here.

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Celebrate Fatherhood: Two Years Later

Has two years really passed by since I started my Celebrate Fatherhood series? It's my first monthly series where daddies from all walks of life share insights about what fatherhood means to them, how we can appreciate their role in a family... and something that came to life because of what my hubby said about being a dad.

I've loved reading about parenting from the dads' perspectives and I hope you have too. Sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in all of life's busyness and our own business, that we take people and things for granted. I admit I'm guilty of that, and that's why I love having these monthly "reminders" to take the time to remember and appreciate the boy as a father and husband... and of course, my role as a daughter to my own father. 

In the first year, I had more daddy bloggers join in the series as it was easier for them to open up and share, but this year.. I focused less on bloggers, and really got more dads from different walks of life to contribute their thoughts and emotions on the blog. I feel that it's important to highlight the vocation of the dads as different jobs have different impacts on the way we live and see the world and to get a better understanding of "fatherhood", we need more voices from everywhere, not just the blogosphere.

It is not easy from non-bloggers, I know, and I want to say once again to all my daddy contributors - thank you.

Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom. Thank you for reminding us to look at the big picture. Thank you for your relentless perseverance, even though sometimes you get the shorter end of the stick :P And most of all, thank you for letting us mums know that you are there by right by our side in our parenting journey together.

As long as there are dads that are willing to guest post, I'll try to keep this series going on as long as I can. If you want to share your story and motivate me and others, kindly drop me a mail at sakuraharuka {at} live {dot} com.

Missed any of the Celebrate Fatherhood stories for the second year? Read them below:

Daddy Wayne in Charleston, South Carolina: What's Truly Important in Life
Daddy Adrian, Lawyer of Characterist LLC: My Kids Teach Me About Who I Am
Daddy Guillaume, Entrepreneur of White As Milk: Birth of A Father
Daddy Caleb, Founder of Tiny Little One: Letter to Seth
Daddy Dave, Education Officer: Dad's the Difference
Daddy Andrew, Military Officer: Supporting a SAHM
Daddy Lee, Analyst: A Natural Dad
Daddy Tony, Food Blogger: What's An Elephant Backside Got To Do with Parenting?
Daddy Darren, Owner of PriviKids: Appreciating Fatherhood
Daddy Ken, Childcare Recruiter: Parenting in a Digital Age
Daddy Barry, Consultant: "Bring Back the Basket"

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Happy Father's Day 2014!! #dadsforlife

Just as I was thinking it was quite sad that Lil Pumpkin's preschool doesn't have a Father's Day celebration event like they do for us mothers, Lil Pumpkin excitedly told us last Tuesday night that her daddy HAD TO go to her class the next day on Wednesday to celebrate Father's Day! We found it strange that her preschool didn't send any notification as they usually do so the boy checked it out and found out that it's supposed to be the following Wednesday, next week!!

Oh silly girl! Guess she was too excited haha.

Anyway I used my new-found Rainbow Looming skills to make a one-of-a-kind Luffy from One Piece loom doll for the boy's Father's Day gift!

He's been asking me to make it since One Piece is one of his fave anime but there's no tutorial for Luffy! However, after making a few loom dolls, you kinda get the hang of it and understand the basic concept so I came up with my own Luffy design just in time for today. Not bad, ya? :)

Thanks for always being there for us, poogeo. You've been a very encouraging dad and never missed any of Lil Pumpkin's important days and milestones, since day 1. We are really blessed to have you as our husband and daddy.

Lil Pumpkin will give you her handmade Father's Day card in class next week but she has a special recording for you!! チュゥゥゥ～ 

Wishing all dads, especially hubby and our own, a wonderful Happy Father's Day~

*****

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Celebrate Fatherhood: "Bring Back the Basket" | Guestpost by Barry, Daddy Consultant

Sakura Haruka is not a blog just about celebrating motherhood. It shares the joys {& frustrations!} of parenting and of families as a whole. Inspired by my hubby's thoughts on being a dad, Celebrate Fatherhood is thus a monthly series where daddies from all walks of life share insights about what fatherhood means to them, and how we can appreciate their role in a family too.

I sincerely thank all those who took the time to guest post for me. Most of those I approached were very supportive and enthusiastic about this new series, sharing my belief that being an involved dad, and getting the dads involved, is important in building a strong family. If you have a story to share, please email me at sakuraharuka {at} live {dot} com.

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To me, fatherhood means responsibility; to provide for my children, to give them the proper upbringing and education, and also to consider for them whenever we make decisions in the family. Since Denver was born, I knew then we need to have a second child so he will not be alone.

Fatherhood is a lifelong journey and being a Daddy brings a lot of joy, happiness, sadness and pain. You share their joy, laughter, achievements and bear the worries, disappointments. Being brought up in a very traditional family, the upbringing of my children is based on how my parents had raised me. Moral values like respect and filial piety have always been what I hold dearly in my heart and I hope my children will learn these values and guide their own child in the future.

“Bring back the basket” - A story that I heard when I was a child that stays in-printed in my mind.

Once, there was a man who made a basket and he put his father into the large basket. His son was curious and asked where his father is taking the grandfather. The man replied that he was going to leave him in the mountains as he was very troublesome. Before the man leaves, his son asked him to bring the basket back. The man was surprised and asked why. The son replied:”I need the basket to take you away when you are old and troublesome.” Upon hearing his boy’s response, the man brought his father home and took care of him.

The act of parents is a mirror of how our children will act. Growing up in an all male family environment, at times, I asked myself if my parenting skills is relevant and effective in how I guide my children now. Having a boy and girl, the gender differences also made me ponder and reflect what I do was right and fair. Nevertheless, it’s a journey I continue to take as I remind myself to stay on course and learn along the way.

I do not think it is a question of feeling appreciated or not appreciated. Rather what’s more important to me is what my children has learnt and benefitted to take them on their own lifelong journey. The greatest returns will be seeing my family united and happy. No one in the family should be ‘thrown away’ or forgotten. That will be my greatest gift and fulfillment.

*****

Barry is a consultant in Singapore. He's married to Phoebe and have two children - Denver and Gladys. They share their family travels to different countries or places they have visited on BPDG Travels and are always on a learning journey, experiencing life & enjoying family time together amidst of their hectic busy schedules.

I'm reminded of "The Wooden Bowl" story after reading this too. Once, a son made his father sit in a corner to eat alone with a wooden bowl because the old man was frail and kept dropping his food and breaking his plates. His child observed this and one day, the child was seen playing with wooden scraps. The son asked his child what he was doing, and the child replied "Oh, I am making a little bowl for to eat your food from on your own when I grow up." Upon hearing that, the son made sure the father sat at the family table to eat for the rest of his days, and never cared about the food dropping or plates breaking anymore.

Our kids are very perceptive and learn from our mistakes, and observations of the way we treat people. If I want Lil Pumpkin to grow up with gratitude in her heart, I need to show more appreciation to her daddy, and to our own parents too.

Read all Celebrate Fatherhood posts here.

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Want to give your dearest mums a special treat?  I've a special Mother's Day Cake Giveaway happening on my Facebook page from now until Mon 5 May 2014 {2359hrs}. Hop on over to win The Icing Room's new "Garden of Love" signature strawberry shortcake creation {S$30.80}! The heart-shaped light genoise sponge cake is layered with smooth Chantilly strawberry cream and topped with garden-fresh strawberries and blueberries. Absolutely divine!

Another irresistible treat shown in the pic above is “Love Always” {$32.80}, a moist chocolate Chantilly cake that is given a luscious coat of red velvet chocolate and paired with the refreshing sweetness of tropical fruits. A melange of berries, pistachio nuts and chocolate flowers add more flourish to delight mummy. Both cakes are available only from 25 April to 11 May 2014.

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Celebrate Fatherhood: Parenting in a Digital Age | Guestpost by Daddy Ken, Childcare Recruiter

Sakura Haruka is not a blog just about celebrating motherhood. It shares the joys {& frustrations!} of parenting and of families as a whole. Inspired by my hubby's thoughts on being a dad, Celebrate Fatherhood is thus a monthly series where daddies from all walks of life share insights about what fatherhood means to them, and how we can appreciate their role in a family too.

I sincerely thank all those who took the time to guest post for me. Most of those I approached were very supportive and enthusiastic about this new series, sharing my belief that being an involved dad, and getting the dads involved, is important in building a strong family. If you have a story to share, please email me at sakuraharuka {at} live {dot} com.

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Children have more technological diversion in today's world than we had growing up. In light of all of these gizmos and gadgets, how can we spend quality time with a generation that is driven by electronics? While you can force your children to spend time as a family without these toys, they may resent you for the attempt. Instead, why not make a compromise and meet the children half-way?

Video Games - Any time you spend with your child can be quality time. Have your child teach you how to play one of their favorite video games. This will put you on his or her level while allowing the child to play teacher for a change. Children love to "one-up" their parents and this gives them that platform to build confidence.

Personally, I enjoy playing online video games with my children. Not only does it give me a chance to interact with them in their world, but it gives me an opportunity to do my best to teach about cyber-bullying and sportsmanship. Although my oldest still doesn't play as a team very well, he is coming around and seeing my point of view about badgering those that are not as good as he.

Board Games - A few board games that we've enjoyed as children have taken on technological advancements. Monopoly has an alternative that uses "Credit Cards" to make digital transfers. Clue even has a talking electronic version of itself. This is aside from the many versions of trivia games that utilize DVD players and the television while you move pieces across a traditional table-top board. You're a parent in the digital age, why fight development?

My favorites are the DVD games. It's a bit unfair as two of the three we have currently are themed for James Bond and Star Trek - which no one in the family can match me at. However, it's nice to pull out the old Scrabble board or dust off Risk, which my older children love to play. Global domination is apparently an inherited gene.

Let Them Pick - If you schedule a specific day of the week to host family night, you can alternate who gets to pick the entertainment for that week. This allows the children to feel empowered as they too have influence in family affairs. Instead of feeling like merely children being governed by adults, they can feel like their input matters. As everyone gets a turn picking the entertainment, you can quell animosity towards anyone in the family.

There are a wide variety of games that I indulge my children with even though I'm not that interested. I do this because I just enjoy spending time with them. It no longer becomes a lack of entertainment from the game itself, but more of spending time with my kids before they no longer want to spend time with me.

Old School Console - After playing a few games with my children on their Xbox, we periodically play a few games on my Super Nintendo or Sega Genesis. The graphics are far different, and it can fill you with a sense of nostalgia as you play against your children on a console you grew up with. That is, if you still have one laying around. It's a fascinating feeling when you realize that your children are playing games that you remember playing when you were their age.

Stand Your Ground - After allowing your children to pick the venues for family togetherness, stand firm with ideas of your own. Remind the children that you played their games, it's only fair they try one of yours. After all, you don't want to turn into a doormat. The children need to learn how to compromise. You play their game for an hour, they play your game for an hour.

There have been a few times where the children didn't want to play the games I wanted to play when it was my turn. However, I reminded them that I indulged them when they picked and it's only fair that they do the same. Since I have always been a staunch advocate of "doing what you say" with the children, they understand and see my point of view.

Any positive activity you do with your child can be quality time. For the most part, the children simply want to spend time with you regardless of what you're doing. However, forcing your children to do an activity may present some resentment. Don't be afraid to compromise, but don't allow them to control every activity from here on out. They need to learn to give as well as receive.

*****

Ken is a father of three and passionate about great childcare. He’s always looking for ways to help families find the support they need to live fuller, richer lives and runs a nanny-recruiting website. You can connect with him via @go_nannies on Twitter.

I do fear for such problems related to technology in children. However, I also feel that as with everything else, moderation is the key. We should not let the children be too addicted to technology, nor should we abandon it totally as well. There are a lot of educational software and apps that can help stimulate children’s thinking skills and benefit them to have better focus. We also take the opportunity to have parent-bonding sessions by playing simple 2-player games with Lil Pumpkin. In this way, we make sure she plays the appropriate games and enjoys some time with us too. It is hard not to acknowledge technology's existence, and to ban you kid from being in contact with it. Let’s instead, embrace the advantages it brings for our children.

Read all Celebrate Fatherhood posts here.

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Celebrate Fatherhood: Appreciating Fatherhood | Guestpost by Darren, Daddy Owner of PriviKids

Sakura Haruka is not a blog just about celebrating motherhood. It shares the joys {& frustrations!} of parenting and of families as a whole. Inspired by my hubby's thoughts on being a dad, Celebrate Fatherhood is thus a monthly series where daddies from all walks of life share insights about what fatherhood means to them, and how we can appreciate their role in a family too.

I sincerely thank all those who took the time to guest post for me. Most of those I approached were very supportive and enthusiastic about this new series, sharing my belief that being an involved dad, and getting the dads involved, is important in building a strong family. If you have a story to share, please email me at sakuraharuka {at} live {dot} com.

*****

While the immense joy of parenthood usually overshadows the various challenges that come with it, some will say that you cannot say the same about fatherhood. Us poor fathers, especially in a stressful place like Singapore very often feel unappreciated. Why is that so?

1 ) Because The Gahmen Says So

Everybody hates the Gahmen. I checked this fact with several taxi drivers, beer drinking uncles in kopitiams and residents in Hougang, Aljunied and Punggol East. Unlike the Terminator who is so cool when he said, “I’ll be back”, the Gahmen triggers boos when they say, “You can’t have your CPF money back”.

Unfortunately, like the Gahmen, fathers very often have to play the role of the higher authority, the Court of Appeal, the one who says so. No kid likes us when we say, “This is your final warning. Listen to your mother and put the toys back”.

2 ) Playmates Not Soulmates 

There’s a good reason why books like “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” are best sellers. Fathers are just different from mothers, and children don’t have to read the book to know this.

Aiden insists on having me play with him when it comes to things like toy cars, physical activities and Lego. On the other hand, he is just not interested to have me read storybooks to him. I am also not welcomed on his bed to talk to him until he falls asleep. Those are strictly Mummy Cher territories.

Fathers are often used and abused, whereas mothers are usually the ones who are kissed and missed!

3) The Money Never Sleeps

I think that the traditional mindset that fathers are the ones that should bring home the bacon contributes the most to fathers feeling unappreciated.

As important as money is in our society, it is the fulfillment of emotional needs and the spending of quantity/quality time that will create deep, lasting bonds between parent and child. Money, and the rest that matters are often mutually exclusive. The more we chase money, the lesser we matter!

Recently, Aiden would tell us that he wants me to go to work, and Mummy Cher to stay at home. He already knows that us going to work means less time for him and it’s clear who is his favourite parent!

Despite all these, I don’t feel unappreciated.

That is because I appreciate the joys of moulding and correcting the character and behavior of my children, so that they will grow up to be fine adults with the right values.

That is because I appreciate being chosen by my children to play with them instead of someone else (it’s a bit like children taking turns to pick team mates for football/catching at the playground - it feels quite good to be called first!).

That is because I appreciate being able to put the proverbial food on the table for my family (in Singapore’s context, this also includes paying for tuition classes, enrichment classes, iPhones and the downpayment for their HDB apartment).

We all have different roles in play in parenthood, and as a father, I’m determined to play mine with a smile!

*****

Daddy Darren is the lesser half of Mummy Cher. Together, they blog at incy wincy spider about the joys and challenges of raising their two children in stressful Singapore. They are also the owners of PriviKids, an online store where you can buy unique, stylish, affordable and quality apparel for one to eight year olds.

I think we, as mums, have an important part in shaping how our kids perceive the dads and relate to them too. I know I sometimes will tell Lil Pumpkin, "if you don't listen to me I'm going to tell daddy" which in a way leads her to think of the boy as the "bad cop" and enforcer of rules even though sometimes, I can be harsher than him :P I have to remember that even the slightest things we do or say can have an impact on her, with sometimes unintentional results.

Read all Celebrate Fatherhood posts here.

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Celebrate Fatherhood: What's an Elephant Backside to do with Parenting? | Guestpost by Tony, Daddy Food Blogger

Sakura Haruka is not a blog just about celebrating motherhood. It shares the joys {& frustrations!} of parenting and of families as a whole. Inspired by my hubby's thoughts on being a dad, Celebrate Fatherhood is thus a monthly series where daddies from all walks of life share insights about what fatherhood means to them, and how we can appreciate their role in a family too.

I sincerely thank all those who took the time to guest post for me. Most of those I approached were very supportive and enthusiastic about this new series, sharing my belief that being an involved dad, and getting the dads involved, is important in building a strong family. If you have a story to share, please email me at sakuraharuka {at} live {dot} com.

***** 

When my 25 year old son, Edmund told me that two books that he illustrated while he was in art school won multiple US national awards, naturally I was very happy and proud of his achievements.

Arlo Goes to the Dentist won Gold in the Children's category for the 2011 USA Independent Book Awards. This and the second book, Arlo and the Airplane, won awards and received honourable mentions in other prestigious book awards.

Edmund had been taking on projects during his undergraduate programme in art school in San Francisco to help pay his fees and board. It also beefs up his portfolio which helped him found a job in advertising in New York City before graduation.

When I saw the book, something else struck me, in an instant.

It struck me that my children Edmund and Anita are young adults now, no longer toddlers. It was literary in a blink of the eye.

The character in the book, Arlo the little grey elephant, looked uncannily familiar. My mind flashed back to years ago when Edmund and his sister Anita were chubby happy laughing toddlers, two or three years old. The height of my knees.

I was always busy at work and could only give them whatever attention I could snatch, in between work. (Looking back, it was silly - I could have given them more attention.)

One day, out of the blue, I doodled an elephant with a pen on a piece of yellow 3M Post-it note paper and handed it to Anita. I didn't think or remember much of it, except that brother and sister were in stitches, chuckling and laughing out loud while I buried my head back in the computer. I remembered they were extremely amused by the rotund back side view of the tubby elephant with the squiggly tail I drew.

I couldn't remember why I drew the elephant but I often do things (some silly) just to make Edmund and Anita laugh. It makes me happy to see and hear their laughter.

At that time, we took the children to the Mandai (Singapore) Zoo, quite often. Actually, almost every weekend. During those good old days, we could buy a “Friends of the Zoo” family membership and pay just one price (around SGD50) for unlimited family visits to the Zoo for a whole year. Free, whole day car parking included.

We had the luxury of going to the Zoo, look at just one or two animals closely and adjourn to the playground before a meh tasting A & W dinner which only the kids liked. We had time to literally smell the animals. Edmund and Anita took on a love of animals at the Zoo - I think the towering elephants left a pretty big impression on the tiny tots.

Years passed, and I never thought much about those everyday mundane events of the children's growing years, until now. From a 10-second doodle of an elephant's back side on a Post-it note paper to the award winning cartoon elephant character Arlo.

It struck me that as a parent, my actions, conscious and unconscious, powerfully shape my children. Fortunately, in this case, the outcome is a happy one.

What about those unguarded outbursts? A careless word? A thoughtless action?

To our children, we are larger than life. Our words and actions carry lots of weight. If I could turn the clock back, I would certainly be more conscious as my children's role model.

*****

Tony is the father to Edmund and Anita. Although residing in Singapore, he has been enjoying Johor food for the past 20 years and writes an endearing food blog, Johor Kaki, to appreciate the hard work of the hawkers who made the food, and share his enjoyment with others.

It's amazing how just a small action can have such a great impact on a child's life, even after so many years. Will it give them strength to pursue their dreams, or will it form a dark memory that will haunt them forever? Sometimes we wonder what it's like when the kids grow up, and I'm grateful when parents of older kids pass on their knowledge from their many more years of parenting to give us an inkling. Thanks for this timely reminder to be more aware of our actions and words {or lack of!}, and how they might affect Lil Pumpkin in the future.

Read all Celebrate Fatherhood posts here.

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