Sunday, April 5, 2015

Celebrate Fatherhood: A Natural Feeling | Guestpost by Steven, Sales Operations

Sakura Haruka is not a blog just about celebrating motherhood. It shares the joys {& frustrations!} of parenting and of families as a whole. Inspired by my hubby's thoughts on being a dad, Celebrate Fatherhood is thus a monthly series where daddies from all walks of life share insights about what fatherhood means to them, and how we can appreciate their role in a family too.

I sincerely thank all those who took the time to guest post for me. Most of those I approached were very supportive and enthusiastic about this new series, sharing my belief that being an involved dad, and getting the dads involved, is important in building a strong family. If you have a story to share, please email me at sakuraharuka {at} live {dot} com.

I always knew wanted to have kids of my own but if you ask me why, I don't think I could think of an answer. Maybe I should just say that it was a feeling. I just feel like becoming a daddy. Perhaps that was the reason why I got married young, at 24. My wife was my polytechnic classmate then but we only got together after graduation and our relationship survived my National Service days.

We bought our first HDB flat just as I was barely settling into my first job. It was a huge purchase then but we managed to survive. We had the 3-room flat all to ourselves. Looking back then, the flat was huge but just a little quiet though.

We had been saving up for our customary marriage and we finally did that when I was in my second job, putting ourselves through part-time degree courses along the way. Thinking back, I can't help but feel proud. However, we still lacked something.

The time was finally ripe and we thought that having our own kids would be easy but it wasn't. For us, it was many months of waiting, multiple visits to the specialists and constant self-doubts before we finally conceived. We were over the moon with the news.

It was a joyous occasion in our family but we dare not announce the pregnancy before the first trimester, hence no one else knew. That also meant that we had to keep our grief to ourselves weeks later, for we lost our baby before the end of the first trimester. The gynecologist had no answers for us except that the baby's heart just stopped beating.

Our only consolation was that we were still young and thankfully we conceived Steffi less than half a year after the unfortunate incident. Steffi became our little precious, the center of our married life and finally jump-started our parenthood journey.

As with all firstborns, Steffi got to enjoy our undivided attention. We had our many firsts with her. My first time holding a newborn barely minutes old in my arms, my first time changing diapers, bathing a baby, my first time bringing a baby swimming and many more.

We enjoyed our parenting experience with Steffi so much that we didn't mind having another baby the moment we could and Leroy was born 602 days later. A daughter and a son would have been more than enough for most Singaporean couples, but not for us! We had initially wanted to stop at having our third child, Stacci, but seeing how cute our kids were, we just couldn’t help but want more.

Being a father to my 4 wonderful kids is definitely a privilege. Something that is precious and wonderful, something that money cannot buy too. The simple hug from the kids and their genuine smiles when they see me when I get home at the end of a hectic work day is worth every sacrifice made. The saying that one can never fully understand their parents, until one becomes a parent definitely holds water.

My relationship with my Dad had always been just so so, for my dad is not someone who shows concerns outwardly or verbalizes his love for his kids. This is an area I am trying to improve on, with my own kids. My kids are all close to me for now, and I hope that it will continue to be this way even when they grow up. That to me, would be the biggest appreciation from them.

Steven is in sales operations and a father to 4 kids ranging from 6 months to 6 years of age. He recently started blogging about his parenting experience at The Perfect Father and is absolutely enjoying the journey right now!

Until I became a parent too, I never fully understood the pain and hardship my own parents went through. It made me appreciate them more for the things they did and sacrifices they made for the whole family. I count that as one of the blessings of me being a mother too.



Sandbox said...

There are many thought-provoking celebrations of motherhood but it is wonderful to read one about fathers.

Pallavi said...

Such an honest heartfelt write up . Sharing his journey on becoming a dad , losing a child and then being blessed with four beautiful children! Lovely !