Sunday, September 1, 2013

Celebrate Fatherhood: Birth of a Father | Guestpost by Daddy Entrepreneur of White As Milk

Sakura Haruka is not a blog just about celebrating motherhood. It shares the joys {& frustrations!} of parenting and of families as a whole. Inspired by my hubby's thoughts on being a dad, Celebrate Fatherhood is thus a monthly series where daddies from all walks of life share insights about what fatherhood means to them, and how we can appreciate their role in a family too.

I sincerely thank all those who took the time to guest post for me. Most of those I approached were very supportive and enthusiastic about this new series, sharing my belief that being an involved dad, and getting the dads involved, is important in building a strong family. If you have a story to share, please email me at sakuraharuka {at} live {dot} com.

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I don't like clichés. I don't like clichés about French, I don't like clichés about Singapore, I don't like clichés about parenting or fatherhood. Before having kids, I always thought I would be ready for raising a kid. I was not one of those saying, “no I am not ready; I won’t be able to have this kind of responsibilities, to be responsible for the life of someone else"… Actually I had no idea about what it meant to be a father and I was not interested in hearing young parents complaining or wishing me to continue enjoying a kids-free life!

I thought I would do things differently; I could manage to have the same life with or without kids. I was young and arrogant ;-) After two kids, I complain, I do silly things with my kids, I tell everyone how they should think twice before making babies! No I don’t do that! I hate that. I hate to dictate what people should do or what they will experience even before they experience it! I just listened and smile in my head when I can see my four year back innocence in the speech of future to be parents ;-)

I did not expect it would be so hard! I had to find skills to resist or find tricks that I never used before to calm tantrums for example! Raising kids play on my nerve like never before! At the moment, you don’t really fancy it but with a step back you have the feeling that you're becoming someone else and in the end you learn a lot! And coming back to cliché, I realised that what all the parents told me before having kids came true (even if it was cliché). No choice, if you want to survive as a parent, you need to be organised, you have to plan in advance, your social life will decrease. I tried but I could not do it differently!

To me being a daddy is raising my kids the best I can for them  and for them to be happy in a world where they can navigate! I elaborate… I have no clue how the world will be in 10 years time or 1 year time! We have not decided if our kids should go to a local school or international school for example. I am not sure if a top local school is the best for their development! I’ll have to choose for them of course, but I don’t think it’s key for their future. It’s just details. What’s key is to give them education for sure! I am sure of that. It’s what I mean when I want them to acquire the right tools to navigate in the adult world. As I am sure that basic things like learning politeness at a young age (I am working on it right now, politeness, respect and obedience) is key to understand the code of what will be their adult playground. So as a father I try my best to give them this codes what make us live together!

My family cuddle, hug, smile and kiss a lot! Of course I can see unappreciation sometimes but not more or less than without kids. Maybe I have too young kids! But the way my kids show me their love is great and enough for me. I can’t really ask for more! And you can’t beg for love! Impossible ;-)

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Guillaume is a young father of two, a boy and a girl! When he discovered the joy but also the difficulties of raising babies or toddlers, he decided to make his life and the lives of other parents easier by launching White As Milk, a subscription-based diapers and milk delivery service.

Once you become a parent, I think you'll find that soon you'll be getting advice from a lot of people. Sometimes these advice are useful, but sometimes it may cause more harm than help. I believe each person's parenting style and situation is different, and nobody knows your child better than you do. Trust your parenting instincts, and be open to sharing your experiences so that others may learn from them too :) Thanks to all the daddies who have been sharing their stories in this series!


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