Sunday, May 4, 2014

Celebrate Fatherhood: "Bring Back the Basket" | Guestpost by Barry, Daddy Consultant

Sakura Haruka is not a blog just about celebrating motherhood. It shares the joys {& frustrations!} of parenting and of families as a whole. Inspired by my hubby's thoughts on being a dad, Celebrate Fatherhood is thus a monthly series where daddies from all walks of life share insights about what fatherhood means to them, and how we can appreciate their role in a family too.

I sincerely thank all those who took the time to guest post for me. Most of those I approached were very supportive and enthusiastic about this new series, sharing my belief that being an involved dad, and getting the dads involved, is important in building a strong family. If you have a story to share, please email me at sakuraharuka {at} live {dot} com.

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To me, fatherhood means responsibility; to provide for my children, to give them the proper upbringing and education, and also to consider for them whenever we make decisions in the family. Since Denver was born, I knew then we need to have a second child so he will not be alone.

Fatherhood is a lifelong journey and being a Daddy brings a lot of joy, happiness, sadness and pain. You share their joy, laughter, achievements and bear the worries, disappointments. Being brought up in a very traditional family, the upbringing of my children is based on how my parents had raised me. Moral values like respect and filial piety have always been what I hold dearly in my heart and I hope my children will learn these values and guide their own child in the future.

“Bring back the basket” – A story that I heard when I was a child that stays in-printed in my mind.

Once, there was a man who made a basket and he put his father into the large basket. His son was curious and asked where his father is taking the grandfather. The man replied that he was going to leave him in the mountains as he was very troublesome. Before the man leaves, his son asked him to bring the basket back. The man was surprised and asked why. The son replied:”I need the basket to take you away when you are old and troublesome.” Upon hearing his boy’s response, the man brought his father home and took care of him.

The act of parents is a mirror of how our children will act. Growing up in an all male family environment, at times, I asked myself if my parenting skills is relevant and effective in how I guide my children now. Having a boy and girl, the gender differences also made me ponder and reflect what I do was right and fair. Nevertheless, it’s a journey I continue to take as I remind myself to stay on course and learn along the way.

I do not think it is a question of feeling appreciated or not appreciated. Rather what’s more important to me is what my children has learnt and benefitted to take them on their own lifelong journey. The greatest returns will be seeing my family united and happy. No one in the family should be ‘thrown away’ or forgotten. That will be my greatest gift and fulfillment.

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Barry is a consultant in Singapore. He's married to Phoebe and have two children - Denver and Gladys. They share their family travels to different countries or places they have visited on BPDG Travels and are always on a learning journey, experiencing life & enjoying family time together amidst of their hectic busy schedules.

I'm reminded of "The Wooden Bowl" story after reading this too. Once, a son made his father sit in a corner to eat alone with a wooden bowl because the old man was frail and kept dropping his food and breaking his plates. His child observed this and one day, the child was seen playing with wooden scraps. The son asked his child what he was doing, and the child replied "Oh, I am making a little bowl for to eat your food from on your own when I grow up." Upon hearing that, the son made sure the father sat at the family table to eat for the rest of his days, and never cared about the food dropping or plates breaking anymore.

Our kids are very perceptive and learn from our mistakes, and observations of the way we treat people. If I want Lil Pumpkin to grow up with gratitude in her heart, I need to show more appreciation to her daddy, and to our own parents too.


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Want to give your dearest mums a special treat?  I've a special Mother's Day Cake Giveaway happening on my Facebook page from now until Mon 5 May 2014 {2359hrs}. Hop on over to win The Icing Room's new "Garden of Love" signature strawberry shortcake creation {S$30.80}! The heart-shaped light genoise sponge cake is layered with smooth Chantilly strawberry cream and topped with garden-fresh strawberries and blueberries. Absolutely divine!


Another irresistible treat shown in the pic above is “Love Always” {$32.80}, a moist chocolate Chantilly cake that is given a luscious coat of red velvet chocolate and paired with the refreshing sweetness of tropical fruits. A melange of berries, pistachio nuts and chocolate flowers add more flourish to delight mummy. Both cakes are available only from 25 April to 11 May 2014.

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2 comments:

Phoebe said...

Thanks Ai for having us on Celebrate Fatherhood post. It was a reflecting experience for us too. ^_^

Cheers,
Phoebe
BPDGTravels

alissa apel said...

I totally think parenting is a mirror. Children look to their parents to do things, how to act, and how to be.

It's interesting since we have 2 children. Mica is much more like my husband, and Isaak is much more like me. Personalities must be somewhat genetic, and also they get it from watching Mom and/or Dad.