Sometimes in the morning, you'll start crying and hold my hand tightly, telling me not to go to work. It doesn't happen often, but every time it does, my heart aches a little and I wish I didn't have to go. So I sit by your side a little longer, hug you a little harder, hope hard that you won't hold this against me and pray that you'll understand that I'm doing this for the best of all of us.
Sometimes you'll even ask, "Mum, why do you work?" I usually give a simple answer, "to make money and buy you presents" but my Lil Pumpkin, it is more than that.
I work so that your daddy isn't burdened with all our financial problems. I work so that I make full use of the knowledge gained from years of schooling. I work so that I can help take care of your grandparents. I work so that we can let you experience life to the fullest. I work so that we can live a little more comfortably, with a little less worry. And also, I work because of who I am.
Mummy believes that individuality does not end after motherhood. Working helps me to maintain my own identity, so that I have the control and financial ability to continue with my own passions and interests, without feeling guilty about spending your daddy's money. One day, you will grow up and have a family of your own, and won't need me as much. If my world revolves around you and only you, what will happen to me then? I don't want to be clingy and not let you live your own life.
Also, I want you to understand that with sacrifices & hard work comes rewards. Yes, I do miss being able to wake up late with you in bed, or going to the zoo on weekdays, or witnessing many of your "firsts", but we are also able to travel to many exciting places, have the weekly art classes that you love, and experience other things we might not have been able to afford to otherwise. And when Mummy is with you, I make sure we spend quality time together because I value the limited time we have.
I love you my dear. If I didn't feel that you would be safe and happy being in preschool or at your grandma's place while I work, or if I didn't have a good job that advocates work-life balance, I would never leave you. Things may change in the future, and I may stay at home to take care of you full-time, but for now, know that I do love you despite me not being with you 24/7.