Sunday, March 10, 2013

Letter to my girl #9 | "Mum, Why do You Work?"

Dear Lil Pumpkin,

Sometimes in the morning, you'll start crying and hold my hand tightly, telling me not to go to work. It doesn't happen often, but every time it does, my heart aches a little and I wish I didn't have to go. So I sit by your side a little longer, hug you a little harder, hope hard that you won't hold this against me and pray that you'll understand that I'm doing this for the best of all of us.

Sometimes you'll even ask, "Mum, why do you work?" I usually give a simple answer, "to make money and buy you presents" but my Lil Pumpkin, it is more than that.

I work so that your daddy isn't burdened with all our financial problems. I work so that I make full use of the knowledge gained from years of schooling. I work so that I can help take care of your grandparents. I work so that we can let you experience life to the fullest. I work so that we can live a little more comfortably, with a little less worry. And also, I work because of who I am.

Mummy believes that individuality does not end after motherhood. Working helps me to maintain my own identity, so that I have the control and financial ability to continue with my own passions and interests, without feeling guilty about spending your daddy's money. One day, you will grow up and have a family of your own, and won't need me as much. If my world revolves around you and only you, what will happen to me then? I don't want to be clingy and not let you live your own life.

Also, I want you to understand that with sacrifices & hard work comes rewards. Yes, I do miss being able to wake up late with you in bed, or going to the zoo on weekdays, or witnessing many of your "firsts", but we are also able to travel to many exciting places, have the weekly art classes that you love, and experience other things we might not have been able to afford to otherwise. And when Mummy is with you, I make sure we spend quality time together because I value the limited time we have.

I love you my dear. If I didn't feel that you would be safe and happy being in preschool or at your grandma's place while I work, or if I didn't have a good job that advocates work-life balance, I would never leave you. Things may change in the future, and I may stay at home to take care of you full-time, but for now, know that I do love you despite me not being with you 24/7.

Love always,
Mummy

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14 comments:

alissa apel said...

Oh yes, I work to. Luckily my kids have had their Aunt and Grandparents watch over them. My husband has his weekend smack dab in the middle of the week. That way he can stay home with the boys 2 days a week, me 2 other days. We never share a weekend.

Sometimes I wish one of us could just stay at home all the time.

You are right though. I love continuing the education I got.

Sometimes I need adult conversation to.

Madeline Heng said...

Can totally relate! I will still choose to work even if my husband is rich because I want to.. I need to..

Ai Sakura said...

Alissa: it's great when family members look after the kids. I feel more at ease then too. my hubby works weekends as well but thankfully just the mornings.

Madeline: thanks :) look forward to hearing more on your FTWM story!

Sandra Tan said...

Love this angle as a letter to your girl! I agree, whether being a sahm or a ftwm, there are always some tradeoffs. Thankfully we have great support for the kiddos!!

~Summer~ said...

Hi Ai, I just finished writing my SAHM post and it's nice to read your story from a different angle. I guess we all just want the best for our children. SAHM or FTWM, I think as long as we love our children deeply, we are good mums. Or so I like to believe. Haha. =) Have a great week ahead!

Susan said...

Hi Ai, I can sure relate to your story to pumpkin. I do question if this was the best arrangement for us especially on days that I leave her childcare with her bawling her eyes out and when she's ill. But we just have to make the best of our decision and work towards having work life balance. Thanks for sharing, will share my post soon too.

The Kam family said...

Describing you as a woman and a mum so well, so you :) Cheers to FTWs!

Connie Huang Low said...

good job Ai! Kudos to us FTWMs!

Theresa said...

I love this! I have struggled with the idea of going back to work. Not because I need to, but because I have made my children the center of my life for the past 14 years. Now they are getting older, I don't want to feel like I have totally lost myself once they venture out on their own.

Very lovely post, Ai!

Aroha @ Colours of Sunset said...

Love love love this Ai. It got me a bit teary. I love everything you've said about why you work, and all the same is true for me, too. x Aroha

Stacy said...

Oh you put it so well. I love this post!

xavvy said...

Hi Ai,

your post totally relates what am feeling ! Love it !

Seriously, am loving it and hating it at the same time when my lil' one asks " oh why do you have to work again today" !

Ai Sakura said...

Sandra: so true.. without the support from home and work I wouldn't want to leave my kid to be a FTWM I'm sure!

Summer: it was great reading your post and really, there's no one great way to be a good mum :)

Susan: it is really hard at times but it is for the best at this point in time

The Kam Family: thank you!

Connie: was nice reading your story too!

Theresa: yes, it is tough especially if you have stopped working for quite some time. maybe be a WAHM! :) you craft so well!

Aroha: aww thanks for your support dear!

Stacy: thank you :)

xavvy: it really is a love-hate relationship but with the bitter comes the sweet!

Veronica @ Mixed Gems said...

Beautifully put, Ai.