The Three Bricklayers - Inspirational Parable about Communication & Attitude

I was at a work talk, which was pretty mundane, but at the end the speaker was telling the story of The Three Bricklayers to drive home the idea of having the right attitude and understanding the big picture. Basically the story goes like this,

"Someone saw three men working. He asked the first man what he was doing and the man said he was laying bricks. He asked the second man the same question and he said he was putting up a wall. When he got to the third man and asked him what he was doing he said he was building a cathedral."

They were all doing the same thing. The first man had a job. The second man had a career. The third man had a calling.

At an organisational level, it's important for an employee to know that no matter how small our job is or how insignificant it may seem, we are all laying bricks to build the company up. There is a big picture in our daily actions, and what little we do still makes a difference.

On hearing that parable, I related it more to me being a mum and how I communicate to Lil Pumpkin about her studies, though.

As she progresses through her schooling years, her school load is getting more and more intensive. Every other day, I'm telling her to "study hard", or "do your homework" or "remember your revision" etc. Even I reckon that I sound like a broken record and find it sian to say it over, and over again...

I know Lil Pumpkin is a curious child and likes learning new things, but sometimes schoolwork or listening in class can be boring. Rather than just reminding her on completing the immediate task e.g. learn her spelling or finish her homework, I should remind her to see the end result and focus on the bigger picture i.e. gaining more knowledge, creating a life that she wants, being a useful citizen of the world, having the ability to positively impact others in the future etc.

Maybe then, she would be more self-motivated to strive on completing the challenging tasks at hand without me prompting, and not be disappointed if she has mini set-backs in her schooling journey.

Lil Pumpkin may be laying bricks every day, but if she can envision her own personal "cathedral", she will enjoy her school years more, and grow more through the process. Right? #mummymusings

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My One Word for 2018 - RESTORATION

I'm sure you've heard of this alternative process for making new year resolutions whereby instead of making a list of changes or goals for the new year, you choose just one word to focus on and guide you in your actions to make your new year a better one.

There are a few groups like My One Word or One Word 365 that support this process {and even help you to choose the word to be your focus for the next 12 months!} but the main premise is the same - our list of resolutions overwhelm our ability to focus. Instead, we should pick one word that represents who we want to be or how we want to live {or if you're a Christian, who God is calling us to become} to focus on every day, for the whole year.

This process forces clarity and results in focus, and makes it much simpler to work towards being a better version of yourself in the new year. It will take intentionality and commitment, but if you let it, your one word will shape not only your year, but also you. It will become the compass that directs your decisions and guides your steps.

I mean, a lot of people make new year resolutions but many of them don't carry them through for various reasons. Maybe their goal is too ambiguous and they don't have a plan? Maybe they are impatient or maybe they don't have support?

As many reasons there are to fail, there are many ways to succeed too and if you haven't found one that works for you yet, this focus on "one word" for the new year might be your ticket to reaching your new year goals.

Thanks for all your love & support in the past year. To a better & brighter 2018 for all of us! ☀️ 皆さん、去年御愛いただきありがとうございます。2018年もよろしくお願いしますね〜🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻💕🌸 #sakuraharuka #happynewyear #あけおめ #happynewbeginnings #happyeverything

A post shared by Ai Sakura  (@aisakuraharuka) on Dec 31, 2017 at 4:00pm PST

I've not made New Year resolutions in years, but the year-end season usually gets me in a reflective mood where I look back on the past year and see what I've achieved, and look forward to the new year to see what I'd like to do.

The end of 2017 was no different but over that last weekend, a word suddenly popped up to me - Restoration. I haven't been praying for it, but I believe that God was speaking out to me and telling me to focus on that for 2018.

He has seen how I was letting society's expectations, my expectations of myself and our hurried life take control of my emotions, well-being, relationships with others and with Him. All these burdens just left me feeling rather overwhelmed, snappy and tired... and most days I felt like I was just surviving in all aspects, rather than thriving despite having all the necessities in life to be happy - a comfortable home, happy family, good health, stable income, trustworthy friends etc. Kinda lost, really.. 

Restoration is "the act of restoring; renewal, revival, or reestablishment."

In thinking more about it, I believe that the word is very meaningful and there are certain areas that I want to work on using that as my compass.

*****

RESTORATION at Relationships
Ashamedly, I act poorly when I am tired or stressed, and the first people to bear the brunt of this is usually my family and loved ones. I'm quick to anger and harsh in my words...

This year, I pray that I'd be able to be more like Jesus in my actions {WWJD - What Would Jesus Do?}, be kinder, more loving, considerate and helpful even in my most trying moments. 

RESTORATION at Well-being
Although I focus a lot more on my physical well-being by training regularly, eating better and making an effort to sleep better, I haven't really been taking care of my emotional, mental and spiritual well-being.

This year, I will make sure that I will learn to take things easy, focus on the good, people that matter and things which I have control over, and let go of past mistakes and negative energy. 

RESTORATION at Work
People close to me know that I do not really like my job. If I can be brutally honest, I'm just here for the money and if my boss wasn't that awesome and if I actually knew what I wanted to do as a career, I probably wouldn't still be here...? There really isn't much joy or satisfaction coming to work daily, which kills me in a way because how can you do something you don't really like that takes up almost half of your day??

I guess it's called "adulting" when you put other responsibilities above your own whims and just stick to what you have to do even when it is making you dead inside. Well, my boss is retiring soon and I don't see myself staying here after he leaves so I really have to make future plans for my worklife.

This year, I will take the time to discover my next career move and not be afraid to even go out of my comfort zone. Whatever it may be, I will make sure that the next job I take, it will spark joy in me and make me happy coming to work each day.

RESTORATION at Faith
Since young, God has always been present in my life but He hasn't been central. I've not put him first in many of my life decisions so far and perhaps that's why I find myself failing in many ways.

This year, I pray that I will trust in His will more, to read my Bible more and to attend church more regularly. I will make more effort to make sure my family, especially Lil Pumpkin, grows closer to God too.

*****

I don't have any concrete plans on how to achieve each of these goals {...yet?}, but if this is God's will, and I believe that it is, then I have faith that He will guide me to do all this and make my 2018 even better and brighter than before!

P.S. Sorry if this post sounds strange or out of character as I don't usually blog about my faith or life as a Christian, but I just feel very strongly about this and wanted to share about my plans for the year. If you've made any goals for yourself in 2018, feel free to comment and let me know and maybe I'd be able to support and encourage you for the year too! ❤

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New Family Market from honestbee - Daily Best Value Prices for the Household + {Promo}

Recently, honestbee has just launched a brand new store called Family Market that focuses on all your family's everyday needs.

Their products range from food, health and beauty essentials, to babycare products and household goods.

I love going grocery shopping. If grocery shopping is considered a hobby, I'd probably list it as one of mine haha.

Even when traveling overseas, I love going to the markets and grocery stores to check out what's new and available {Chicken in a Bisket is back in Singapore by the way!! woot woot}, suss out the daily deals, compare quality and prices for the things I need between different brands, and just basically amble down the aisles...

This is, of course, based on the notion that I have time to spare. For most working parents like me, time is of the essence and just spending more than 30 minutes out grocery shopping is probably considered a luxury.

It's all usually just a grab-and-go, and you probably don't want to be caught wasting time queuing to pay, hustling with the after-work/ weekend crowd or running after your kids after a hard's day of work making sure they don't wander off and knock down a display of toilet paper or something （/｡＼)

I guess that why most parents I know like the convenience of online grocery shopping.

You can just sit in the comfort of your home to choose the items you need from a website, click to pay and get them delivered to your doorstep in a jiffy. Easy peasy.

And now at Family Market, it makes things even easier and more streamlined for online family shopping as they have identified all the basic essentials used by families in Singapore and grouped them together into 7 simple categories under one roof - Babies, Drinks, Food Cupboard, Health & Beauty, Home, Household & Cleaning and Snacks & Sweets.

Within these categories, they stock the bestselling products with the best prices negotiated daily from their partner stores, without a mark-up. A quick comparison check I did showed that a lot of the items we use at home are about 10-30% cheaper than other online grocery stores. I know because I like to compare prices and get the best value-for-money deals haha... and it's so much easier {and faster!} when it's done online (｡^‿^｡)

For example, a staple at my home, Quaker Instant Oatmeal Smooth & Creamy 1kg refill, costs S$4.40 in Family Market, but S$5.10 at FairPrice online and S$4.80 at RedMart. Or even a bottle of Dove Beauty Nourishing Body Wash 1L costs S$9.30 in Family Mart, and S$9.75 at both FairPrice and RedMart. Prices correct as of yesterday, Thu 29 Jun 2017.

There are currently around 500 products in this new Family Mart, and they are adding new products to it daily based on market research and customer demand.

Browse through their offerings on the Family Mart website and use my promo link for extra savings! Spend a minimum of S$50 for free delivery and a concierge fee of S$3.99 applies.

Family Market is a part of honestbee, an online grocery store where you can get your shopping from different stores in one order, on the same day AND within an hour #woah

While other online stores available in Singapore can only deliver from one store or inventory, honestbee does not stockpile goods in a warehouse. Instead, their trained shoppers go to stores near you and hand pick every item when you place an order to ensure the widest possible choice of fresh, great quality items. You can even leave very specific instructions for them to follow "e.g. please ask the butcher to chop my meat & separate into 200g packs"!

I like that they have a customer service centre that's open from 9am - 10pm daily. If you want to change your 1-hour delivery time slot or have a question about your order, you can easily speak to someone about it. If your item is out-of-stock or changes need to be made to the order, they will always contact you first for your approval too.

Their partner stores include FairPrice, Emporium Shokuhin {Japanese gourmet grocer}, Le Petit Depot {French supermarket - has Carrefour value-for-money stuff!}, Jones the Grocer, Amazin' Graze, Gastronomia, The Providore and even farm-to-table wholesalers like Fresh Direct {fruits & vegetable from farms around the world} and Foodsterr {health & organic food from US & Australia}.

You'd definitely be spoilt for choice when shopping here *grins*

Promo: Use this link to sign up & get S$10 OFF S$50 at honestbee online concierge and delivery services. Valid for one month from date of your successful account activation.

*Disclosure: This is a sponsored post for honestbee. All opinions are my own.

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Bub & Me: Bring Your Kids to Work Day! @ Mummy's Office!

On Wednesday Lil Pumpkin followed me to the office for the day. An unofficial "Bring Your Kids to Work Day" of sorts since my organisation doesn't have the culture of hosting such an event. However, thankfully I've an amazing boss who is a family man and values work-life balance, and understands when we have to bring the kids to work sometimes.

This is the first time I've had Lil Pumpkin at work for almost the whole day actually, although she has been to my office a number of times before, and her preschool was actually located at another end of my workplace.

It's the school holidays now in Singapore so Lil Pumpkin doesn't have any classes in her primary school, although she still has her enrichment classes for Maths {see Comparison of Popular Maths Enrichment Classes}, Chinese, gymnastics and CrossFit. When she was younger, my mum used to help take care of her during the hols but now that she's older and easier to care for, Lil Pumpkin follows the boy to the clinic {she's a "Vet for a Day", everyday!! haha} and wherever he goes while I'm at work. It's more convenient since the boy doesn't have to make trips to so many different places and her enrichment classes are near his clinic. 

She still goes to my mum's place once in a while though, especially if her cousins are there :)

Wanted to give the boy a break to go for a back massage after his morning shift as he sprained it during aerial yoga {the teacher was too hardcore..} so he dropped Lil Pumpkin and me at the office in the morning.

Lil Pumpkin made good use of my "makeshift bed" {aka thick exercise mat} hehe and actually slept most of the morning away until lunch-time. When she woke up, we went for a sumptuous Western grill lunch and I was pretty surprised that she finished most of her steak!! 

Ever since she was a baby... I always loved seeing her eat well and full hehe.

Brought her around a bit and it's nice showing her snippets of what I do, who I work with and why Mummy is away most of the day. It's always hard shaking off the working mum's guilt and nothing much has changed ever since I wrote "What's A FTWM's Worth?" 2 years ago.

Every other day I feel guilty about not spending enough time with Lil Pumpkin, every other day I worry that I'm missing out on her childhood milestones.. But yet every other day I feel at peace with my choice and am grateful to be able to share hubby's burden, help with the household finances, give Lil Pumpkin some luxuries in life, show her that women can succeed professionally, and also have a little "me-time" with stimulating adult conversations.

I always think that I have a rather uninteresting office job but nonetheless, I'm really happy to have shared my day with Lil Pumpkin. She was a really good girl in not disturbing me when I had to concentrate at work by doing her holiday homework, reading and working on her latest craze - crossword puzzles & word searches haha.

Thank you for keeping Mummy company at work that day, my darling! I hope to have more of such days with you again soon ♥

Do you bring your kids to work?

How does it benefit you and your kids?

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TYR Singapore Showroom Swim Gear Shopping

Recently I went down to the TYR Showroom at Bukit Merah with Jo to check out on swimsuits and gear for myself and Lil Pumpkin. TYR is a USA manufacturer of recreational & competitive swimwear, swim caps, swimming goggles, triathlon gear etc. and is one of the most popular brands among the swimming community.

You can find TYR merchandise at World of Sports outlets but the showroom sells a much wider array of TYR swim wear, googles, caps, training equipment etc. Also, if you belong to {selected?} swim teams, you also get discounts off your purchases. I think it's about 30% off!! (*^▽^*)

It's been a long time since I swam competitively. When I first joined my organisation about 5 years ago, I was quite active in the swim team and took part in my first and only Masters Swimming Championship ੧(❛▿❛✿)੭

Since then, I stopped regular swim training and just liked frolicking in the waters.. after all, I'd been swimming competitively almost half my life, so it was nice to just finally enjoy the cool, relaxing waters.

A few weeks ago, Jo told me that she was going to take part in this year's Masters Swimming Championship for her club. She asked if I wanted to join too and a part of me stirred. After all, once a swimmer, always a swimmer haha.

Things got busy at home and work so that was put aside until recently, I received an email from my organisation's swim team calling for participants to represent them in the Masters Swimming Championship. Oh was that a sign??

After encouragement from Jo and hubby, I finally put my name down and signed up to compete last week with some random seed times for the events I wanted to take part in haha. Goodness, I didn't even have a proper one-piece swim costume {I prefer two-piece tankinis as they are easier to go toilet in heh} and had to go find one to compete in!!

It's been so long that I wasn't even sure of my costume size... Finding a swimming costume isn't all that easy, especially if you want to wear it to a competition. I mean if you're just wearing it to the occasional visit to the pool it might be fine if it doesn't fit completely well, but if you want to wear it to compete in.. it needs to fit like a glove. Too tight and your boobs / butt will fall out plus you might get a wedgie, too loose and it was "expand" in the water and catch air bubbles.

Also, there will be spectators watching the competition so you definitely want to avoid any awkward situations!! (〃⌒∇⌒)

Tucked away in one of the warehouse buildings in the industrial area, the TYR showroom was really quiet when we went on a weekday... which is pretty good since you don't need to jostle with the crowd and can take your own sweet time browsing and trying the items.

Jo was looking for some rashies for her little girls but she didn't find anything that she liked.

There's a very good selection of goggles here.. Lil Pumpkin and I are currently using TYR Velocity Metallized googles which has UV-protected and anti-fog properties, silicone cushion gaskets, double silicone headstraps and an adjustable nose-piece. But most importantly I like that it has  mirrored lenses which is really useful on sunny days, especially when you are swimming back-stroke.

I wanted to get some silicone swim caps with cute slogons or designs but they didn't have many of that and I didn't find any that I fancied. The showroom stocked mostly plain coloured silicone caps as the staff said most Singaporeans preferred those heh.

There are also waterproof bags, mesh bags, noodles, kick boards, paddles, hand paddles etc.

I bought a big nylon mesh bag for Lil Pumpkin to use during her swim class to put her swim gear and kick board. The open weave mesh means I can still leave her board etc in the bag and they will still dry easily.

There's a diverse assortment of swimwear patterns and colours for casual and competitive swimmers, but I was expecting even more.

Jo was too. She said they did use to have much more swimsuit choices.. but now they seem to sell more triathlon stuff.

I liked these 2 swimwear patterns and had a hard time choosing just one haha. I already bought 2 new Speedo swimsuits before our visit and highly doubted I was going to take part in any more swim meets after this one haha..

In the end, I chose the bright, geometric design. It was the first one that caught my eye! ❤

Some of the triathlon gear spotted.

I have utmost respect for triathletes. Swimming is already so tough, imagine having to swim, run AND cycle consecutively over long distances!!! *clap clap clap*

After our little shopping trip we went to have some delicious Mexican food at Guzman Y Gomez, Star Vista. So awesome!!! They are really generous with the portions and I always leave feeling so full, and so satisfied (*＾▽＾)／

It was a really fun mummies-day-out for us! Thanks for the company, Jo! ❤

Anyway, go visit the TYR showroom if you or your kids are into swimming!! But in case there are any policy changes in regards to the swim team discounts, please check with them first, ok?

TYR Showroom
8, Jalan Kilang Timor, #03-01 Kewalram House
Open 10am - 5pm {Mon - Fri}, 10am - 12pm {Sat}. Closed Sun & public holidays
Tel: 6702 6734
Website: http://www.tyr.com.sg

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Hello September xox

"Once she stopped rushing through life, she was amazed how much life she had time for."

Oh my. Hello September. I really didn't expect to see you so fast. In what seems like a blink of an eye, here you are... and soon, it will be the year's end!!

Honestly, don't you think that 2016 just flew by?? The past few months especially, I've been quite busy with work {we're hosting a big event in a mid-Sep}, keeping up with my fitness regime, family schedules etc. that I have not been updating my blog and my social media channels as much as I used to. Remember the time when I used to blog 4-5 times a week?? haha.. (ᗒᗨᗕ)

I still love writing as a creative expression and a way of jotting down my memories but as I've learnt over the years, I must slow down, be intentional, prioritise and let go of some things when life gets too overwhelming.

For now, social media is taking a backseat while I unplug and focus on what's in my offline life, but there's no doubt that I'd be back with my usual online interactions and frequent blog musings again once other areas in my life starts to loosen up (｡◕‿◕｡)

I'd still be updating the blog, just at a slower pace, but do pop by and connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and yes, Snapchat too! We're heading to Legoland, Malaysia over the weekend so I'll be updating on our trip on-the-go via these channels ☆ 

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Bub & Me: Vet for A Day @ Clinic For Pets

Quite some time back Lil Pumpkin attended the 'Doctor for a Day' programme at Mount Elizabeth Novena where children can get a taste of what it's like to be a doctor. It was about an hour's program and she went around tending to patients and responding to various make-believe medical scenarios in the hospital.

I thought it was a very good experience made even more real with the white doctor coat she was wearing so when I saw a Vet costume on sale at ELC, I couldn't help but get the set for her to wear when she goes to her daddy's vet clinic to have her own fun "Vet for A Day" experiences haha.

In case you didn't already know, my mother-in-law is a vet too and Clinic for Pets, the vet clinic that the boy works at is a family business. My mother-in-law opened it in 1980 and its been around for almost as long as the boy.. 36 years!!

Ever since he was a small boy, the boy has been helping out in the clinic too and that's where he first got his inspiration to be a vet. Keeping up with tradition and also out of necessity sometimes due to our busy schedules, the boy has also been bringing Lil Pumpkin to work and she's at the clinic once a week. 

When he has time, the boy will teach Lil Pumpkin about the animals and even give her hands-on experiences in helping him check the animals and preparing for the surgeries. She loves this special time she has with her daddy and has told us on a few occasions that she'd want to be a vet when she grows up too. Of course on these occasions, we took the opportunity to tell her that she would have to study very, very hard then and make sure she performs academically :P

Personally, I think it's wonderful if she can carry on this family business but even if she doesn't, I still like that she's learning how to care for and be kind to animals from her daddy. Nowadays, we often hear many stories about animal abuse and abandonment.. if we can raise one little human being to prevent this and spread the word about loving the animals properly, it would not be one too many.

Bringing Lil Pumpkin to work is beneficial to her in so many ways. She gets to see first-hand the ups and downs of her daddy's job {being a vet doesn't mean just playing with animals - sometimes they have to clean poo & vomit too!}, his responsibilities and learn the value of hard work and persistence. Yup, she understands that money doesn't drop from trees haha.

Lil Pumpkin also gets to build her confidence and communicate with people from all kinds of backgrounds as she sits in her daddy's consultations and hangs out the clinic staff & neighbouring shopkeepers {if the clinic gets too busy my MIL will bring her out to eat and play}. When she gets assigned small, tasks like folding towels, walking the animals or packing the medicine, it exposes her to new way of working, thinking and moving.

For the boy, having Lil Pumpkin in the clinic also motivates him to work harder and set a good example so it really is a win-win situation.

Unfortunately, I can't bring Lil Pumpkin to work with me as we don't have that culture in my organisation but she has been to my office more than a few times in the past when the boy sent / dropped me off at work. I've actually suggested to our HR to have "Bring Our Kids to Work Days" but so far, they haven't given it the green light yet haha.

Do you bring your kids to work?

How does it benefit you and your kids?

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More Time for Life.. More Time for You

This year, I took a step back from a lot of things. Well, actually it's been a while that I've been trying to cut back on work and blogging commitments to focus on the family and personal growth, but you'd probably have noticed that it's even more so this year. 

And honestly, I do love it.

There is more time to bring Lil Pumpkin to the playgrounds, cook for the family, hold conversations and listen, exercise, read.. and sometimes even just do nothing at all.

My daily schedule doesn't seem any less packed, but it definitely feels much less "rushed", if you understand what I mean. I'm not always racing to tick off an item on my to-do list, and can actually happily relish in the moment I'm in.

I recently read an article about Gurmit Singh leaving the entertainment industry in 2014 to spend time with his family. Actually I don't really watch local TV so didn't realise that he did #oops But he said something about a painful epiphany when he learnt his elder daughter thought of him a “mythical creature” during her growing years. She never knew when he was leaving, or coming home, he explained.

I don't want Lil Pumpkin to ever think of me in such a way, and although I still can't ideally take care of her full-time since I'm still working, at least I'm present more. And knowing that I'm around more for her, and doing more of what I like, makes me feel happier, and more positive.. which rubs off on the people around me I guess.

It feels like a good place that I'm at right now ♥

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Never Get So Busy Making A Living, You Forget to Live

Ahhh how nice it is to enjoy a long weekend straight after coming back from a weekend vacay for my birthday in Vietnam! :P I love not worrying when my alarm would ring, waking up as my body wants next to Lil Pumpkin {my poor hubby still has to go to work!}, seeing her sweet morning smile and doing our "piggy nose rub". And of course, not going through our hectic morning schedule.

I don't watch The Daily Show but earlier the year its host, Jon Stewart, announced that he was leaving the show after 19 years. I read an article on why he decided to leave, which partly stemmed from an increasing sense of dissatisfaction.

Jon Stewart said, "It’s not like I thought the show wasn’t working any more, or that I didn’t know how to do it. It was more, ‘Yup, it’s working. But I’m not getting the same satisfaction,’” he said. “These things are cyclical. You have moments of dissatisfaction, and then you come out of it and it’s okay. But the cycles become longer and more entrenched, and that’s when you realize, ‘Okay, I’m on the back side of it now.’"

I can relate to that. Work for me is pretty mundane as the scope is not something I'm interested in and it is a chore for me to go to work every weekday. But it's something I've accepted to do since my boss is amazing, there is no overtime, I've a good working environment with healthcare benefits and also because Lil Pumpkin is in her current preschool / childcare.

Once I leave my current company, I've to find her another preschool/ childcare as it is only for the children of my company staff. And I don't want to do that as we like her preschool and she's happy there.

Like what Jon said, you have moments of dissatisfaction, and then you come out of it. I usually come out of it when I think of reasons why I've to do it, but it's really getting harder and harder.

The boy thinks that it's just that I don't want to work. Not that true because I just don't want to work in my current job anymore. If I've something else that I want to do, a dream job where perhaps I get to interact with more Japanese, go traveling, is more challenging and closer to my interests.. then yeah I'd like to do that.

Not that I have it, but I think the longer I stay on in my current job, the less likely I'd go look for it.. or work on other things that make me happy - like blogging, or spend time with people that make me happy - like Lil Pumpkin.

Lately, I feel that 5 out of 7 days, I wake up somewhat feeling life sucks because I've to go to a job that I don't really like. Of course I am grateful for the job stability and income, but that's not really the way to live, right?

What if I suddenly passed away in my sleep? I can say now that I will have many regrets if I die tonight.

And so, I've decided to go part-time next year after Lil Pumpkin leaves preschool, or maybe even quit my current job. Firstly, it'll give me more time to spend with Lil Pumpkin after her school {supervise her work, bring her out, rest, do stuff}, secondly it'll also give me more time to work on what I like and maybe even find a better job I'd love more.

I guess that means less money to spend and travel until something comes in to fill the income gap but I can live with that if it means I'll be happier on a higher percentage of the week. It is ridiculous to always wait and look forward to the weekend, the next break, the next travel vacation. I want to make a change to have more happiness in my life every day. 

There are too many uncertainties when it comes to a big life decision like a job change. But if I don't try, I'll never know. I'm 32 next year and personally, that's kinda old already to not be doing what I want to do.

Thought of changing jobs or changing from a FTWM to a SAHM?

How did you handle the change? 

P.S. Photos are from our sunny Gold Coast trip last year :) So awesome!

P.P.S. Don't forget to take part in my The Wind in the Willows Family Performance Tickets giveaway {worth S$248} which ends on Wed 3 Jun 2015!

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What's a Full-Time Working Mum {FTWM} worth?

I've been a Full-Time Working Mum {FTWM} for the past nearly 5 years, soon after Lil Pumpkin turned 1 years old. In the first year of her life, I chose to be a Stay-At-Home Mum {SAHM} to take care of her full-time.

For the past 5 years, I've been at the same job and I'm blessed to have found something that does not require me to do OT, work shifts, and have a caring boss that values work-life balance. Work has thankfully, been rather smooth-sailing.

But my feelings haven't. For the past 5 years the thought of being a FTWM, or not, has been rather tumultuous. Every other day I feel guilty about not spending enough time with Lil Pumpkin, every other day I worry that I'm missing out on her childhood milestones.. But yet every other day I feel more at peace with my choice and am grateful to be able to share hubby's burden, help with the household finances, give Lil Pumpkin some luxuries in life, show her that women can succeed professionally, and also have a little "me-time" with stimulating adult conversations. I think most working mums can relate with me on this.

Recently, there's been much talk about the worth of a SAHM thanks to our Annual Budget season. I admire those that have made the choice to put their kids first, to not be part of the rat race and be there for the family 24/7. Really, you have my utmost respect and as I mentioned above, sometimes I want to be you again and as life changes, might do so in the future.

However, through all the chatter, I'm getting the feeling that some people think that SAHMs are better mums and may be "worth" more than a FTWMs. When applauding the SAHMs, they put down and dismiss the contributions of FTWMs.

These people may not mean it, but that's the implication I get when I hear someone say something like "if you're only around a few hours a day, how can you instil good values in the kids", or "how can a mum bring up a child well if she's tossing them to others to take care of" or "wow you chose a family over a career.. you must really love your kids a lot".

Does that mean we FTWMs love our kids any less? Does that mean by going out to earn our keep we don't want the best for our family too? Does being a FTWM mean we are damaging the family unit?? Are hard work, independence and perseverance not good values?

I'm not here to say that one is better than the other, because I believe it's not. To be a SAHM or a FTWM, both are just as important to the kids, a family or society. We just contribute in different ways.

Just like how some ignorant people think SAHMs are poorly educated or shake legs and do nothing all day, some have the misconception that FTWMs leave the responsibility of raising their kids solely to the maid or some other care-giver and are never there for school pick-ups, story-times or family meals. I know the job of a FTWM doesn't end the minute we leave workplace. We go home, we cook, we clean, we coach the kids, we bathe them and we put them to sleep. And then the cycle starts again with the new day. We too are the chefs, the maids, the educators, the family financial planners, and so much more. 

We all have different reasons why we choose to work, and here are some of mine. But I think as FTWMs, although we may not be able to spend time with the kids all day, we may have to outsource our duties and our house may get neglected sometimes, that doesn't mean we love our children and families any less. 

I guess I just wanted to remind my fellow working mums, or those thinking of becoming one, to not be discouraged and feel guilt, envy and resentment when you hear the benefits of being a SAHM to our children, to our home. Our worth is no less, we are not "second-class" mums and we are definitely not defined by pay we get at our jobs either.

The work of a mother, any kind of mother be she a SAHM, FTWM, PTWM {Part-Time Working Mum}, or even a WAHM {Work-At-Home Mum}, is priceless, and it's hard to put a monetary value to it because of all the intangibles. We are all making sacrifices, one way or another.

To me, the question shouldn't be about how much a SAHM or FTWM is worth. It just builds tension between those that work and those that stay at home. What matters is, does the family have the social and financial support that they need to make sure children are getting the education and care that they need to develop and grow into useful human beings, regardless of whether the mum is working or not?

If a working mum has access to high quality affordable childcare, and supportive work environment e.g. flexible hours that allows her to be a good parent, then there won't be a debate on whether staying at home, or not, is good for the child, or not. It's when the trade-off between work and family is so big that people tend to see one as being more superior to the other. Maternal presence is important to a child's development, no doubt, but so are other factors too.

Whatever it is, let's not overgeneralise and be sensitive when making our points. For the people who want to judge our parenting choices for the work that we do, please don't forget that FTWMs are mothers too. We too care for, and can raise happy, good children too.

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When Life Gives You Lemons

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Helllllooooo! I'm back from my unexpected blog break! And yes, that means that my hand injury is mostly recovered too. It certainly took much longer than I reckoned but really, thanks to all who texted, emailed {I'll reply soon!} and left me messages of encouragement on Facebook and Instagram. You guys are really awesome! Muakz!

2014 really didn't end well for us. I can't remember the last time we had such epic bad luck and with my work comp crashing, hand injury and hubby's car accident all in the span of 2 weeks, it certainly felt that way.

Injury on my left hand & our poor car! Thank goodness hubby was safe!

A few of you already know how my hand injury happened, but basically I cut my hand on glass. It wasn't a very big cut, but kinda deep. I went to A&E to get it stitched but the doctor just decided to use Epiglu to glue the wound together. It did not hold and the wound opened up so a few days after, I went to see another doctor and she used Epiglu again. Just a few days after that, I had to go back again since it got infected {!!} and my hand got all swollen and the wound was filled with pus. They just cleaned up the wound, gave me antibiotics and told me to come back the next few days to change the dressing but I decided to see another doctor and she said A&E should have stitched it right from the beginning!

The third doctor stitched it up for me but since so many days have passed, she said that it probably won't heal as nicely :( My colleagues and even my boss said don't worry, just get another tattoo there! Ha. Ha. Very funny guys. When I was at Dr Kang's for my laser and IPL treatment last week, he also said the same thing :P However, he also told me not to worry too much, as he'll help me with the ugly scar if it gets to that. Phew!

On top of going in and out of the doctors' almost daily for the past 3 weeks to get my wound properly healed, I still haven't gotten my new work computer yet and our car is still in the repair shop. Overall, everything was very draining mentally, emotionally and physically so I felt pretty down last few weeks. And certainly felt like screaming "WHY ME? WHY US? WHY NOOOWWWWW during the holiday period!!??" Very drama mama, but you've to forgive me for that.

A friend told me that there's a Chinese belief that little cases of bad luck actually block a bigger disaster. Maybe these incidents were clearing some bad luck and bringing in a fabulous 2015. That's a positive way to look at it.

It's hard to find any good reason why all these happened but there's certainly much to be thankful for, especially with worst things that were happening around the world. Taking the blog break and taking things slow at work made more time for things that mattered the most to me. Family, friends, health, home. I really shouldn't need injuries and accidents to make me appreciate the things that I have, but they did and maybe that's the reason why the bad incidents happened.

It is with this thankful heart that I'm going into 2015, to be present and more conscientious to focus on the things and people that really matter to me, and to eliminate those that don't.

Here's to a better and brighter 2015 for all of us!! xox

Feeling Grateful on Tues with Essentially Jess and Mum in the Making. 

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Blog Break | Seeya in 2015!

Hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas! We had a lovely, quiet one with our families and will be celebrating with close friends this weekend.

I came back to work today but my work computer broke down again!! I think it's the third or fourth time since I've been working here for the past 4 years. IT guys haven't come by to fix it yet but we're probably going to get a new one since it's not under warranty anymore anyway.

Another sad news is that my hand wound opened up and started to bleed a little again so I was back at the clinic earlier to get it looked at. Maybe I've been moving it too much (｡-_-｡) Anyway they used Epiglue to literally glue the laceration shut and bandaged it up again.

I want it to heal properly and will be taking the opportunity to have a blog break for at least a week until the new year so that I won't be typing / moving it much unnecessarily. I'm actually typing this whole post on my mobile with my right hand haha.. However, you know my right hand gives me probs sometimes too and I don't want to do it often and strain it much.

Not gonna reply to emails much either but will be contactable via my social media platforms on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram for short messages ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

Wishing you all a Blessed New Year with your loved ones! Stay safe and healthy!!

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When Pizzas Aren't Just Pizzas, & Smiles Are Truly Smiles

Lil Pumpkin and I have a simple Saturday morning routine. After we wake up, she goes for her Speech & Drama class near home, and when she returns, there’s piping hot pizza waiting for her to eat at lunch. I wish I could say it’s homemade pizza but nahh.. it’s just frozen pizza by Dr Oetkers {so so so good though!} warmed up on my oven :P

I thought that she would get bored after eating it two weeks in a role but nope! She actually remembers and ASKS for it! Every. Single. Week. That's dedication for ya.

Then I realized.. the pizza isn’t just pizza. It's that special time where it's just the both of us slowly relishing a whole pizza on a relaxing weekend that makes her happy. The TV is off, my mobile is kept away, and I'm fully present. No distractions, no mummy nagging at her to finish every morsel quickly... just us sitting on our living room floor having a home picnic with warm comfort food.

And you know what's the best part? I didn’t even have to use expensive ingredients or slave hours making the pizzas; all I had to was to spend a minute taking it out of the box and popping it into the oven, then wait for it to get all crispy and cooked. So darn simple and yet, Lil Pumpkin loves it. She'd give me her widest grin and tell me oh how delicious it was and it was the best thing ever! #truestory

Just another way she reminds me that it's the simple things that truly matter in life, and the things that the kids appreciate, and remember the most.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm a good enough mother for her. Am I doing the best I can for her? I know she smiles and laughs a lot but is she truly happy? I'm not the most patient, or the most stress-free person around {although I think I seem that way to some people!}, and I know that affects the way I parent her. In a rather negative way :/

And then I see these drawings that Lil Pumpkin does.

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Happy, shiney, smiley people. I'm no child psychologist expert, but isn't it true that a child's drawings reflect their feelings and thoughts about life? It is a snapshot of her point of view of her role in the world, her relationships with others, her confidence level etc. If she's drawing such happy smiley people {and I use the term "people" loosely because even her sun and flowers are smiley!} all the time, doesn't that mean she's very happy too?

I know they aren't very elaborate pieces like what she used to do in her art class, but these are purely from her imagination and not guided by anybody. Which I feel makes them even more special :)

It gives me great joy to see her draw like like this, and I hope they always stay bright and cheerful. I wish our weekends were longer, or I could go travel with her more often as holidays tend to make me less stressed {obviously} but realistically speaking, that probably won't happen too soon. I'm staying on in my job for these reasons which still hold true to me, finding ways to be less stressed and to be little less hard on myself, and a little more satisfied with the fact that what I'm doing is really, good enough.

What do your kids like to draw?
Do you look at your kids' drawings to find hidden meanings into their world too? 

*****

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