Friday, January 3, 2014

Tips from a Busy Working Mama | Learn to Delegate Tasks

I think one of the hardest thing to do is to say "I can't do this" or "I need help". It's mostly because of pride I guess. If somebody else can handle it, why can't I? It's almost as if we are admitting defeat when we say we can't complete all our tasks, when all motivational posters seem to point in the way of "never give up in life". When do we decide to trudge on despite the obstacles, and when do we decide to throw in the towel?

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As a mother, we have a lot to juggle. We have to run a household, manage our careers, relationships and everything in between. I'm not just talking about working mums like me with jobs outside, but for all mums because for some, their KPIs might be to finish all household chores by the time their kids wake up from afternoon naps, or get from ballet class to swimming class within an hour. All mums are "working full-time" in one way or another.

However, even as mums, we need to realise that not everything has to be on our shoulders to bear, not all problems have to be ours to fix. Learn to let go, and most of all, learn to delegate your tasks. I took a long time to learn this, but admitting we are struggling is not a sign of failure. In fact, it shows strength in holding on to what's important to us, and knowledge in prioritisation. 

I've recognised that I've been feeling quite tired lately. My mind is in a constant whirl, and I'm having more mood-swings than usual {sorry dear hubby and Lil Pumpkin!}. Some days I woke up defeated and just wanted to go back to bed, and some nights I cried myself to sleep. Even I missed my cheerful, happy self bursting with energy.. what more Lil Pumpkin??

I thought through it carefully and realised that I was taking on to much, and decided that some things needed to change, especially for the new year. What better time to start afresh, right? I didn't want to be exhausted all the time, and not have the energy to be completely present with my family.

Other than cutting back on blog events and work, recently, I got the boy to help out even more with our household chores. Like really dedicate time to doing more manual chores like cleaning the restrooms, vacuuming / mopping the floors, wiping the windows etc. I thought about getting a part-time helper, but the boy {understandably} still doesn't like having strangers in our home, so he's willing to help take some burden off me in running the household. A clean, decluttered home certainly helps in freeing the mind as well.

We'll also start Lil Pumpkin on sleepovers with her grandma too, about once a month. This gives the boy and me time to reconnect as a couple and build on our husband-wife relationship {important foundation for a family}, time to run some errands that's easier without a child tagging along, and some precious me-time. As a parent, we do want to spend every other free time with Lil Pumpkin, but these time without her are just as important to recharge and come back energised to be with her, and I mean to be completely present with her, and not have our minds on other things like work.

I don't want to burn out. Struggles are part of our life story, but it's probably wise to learn to choose your battles to enjoy the things worth fighting for.

New year, new beginnings xox

Do you feel exhausted too? How would you delegate your tasks?

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16 comments:

Brandi Yee said...

These are great tips! It's so important to take time for yourself and to accept help from others. I think it's great that Lil pumpkin will go to Grandma's once a month...fun for her, Grandma and you guys!! Will be great for you two to have that quality time together to reconnect once a month :)

Agy Lee said...

Agree! You have to take care of your self before you can take care of others to the best of your ability. Accepting help is good, even if it comes from my hubby. Doing the important tasks and leaving the others til later.

Shermeen said...

Hi Ai,

These are fantastic tips. I am also thinking of starting the little man on sleepovers at grannies too so I can get to rest more too. If you don't mind, do like up with my "Working Momma Survival Tips linky"!

http://www.meeningfully.com/search/label/WMST

~Summer~ said...

Nicely said, Ai. I don't like to admit that I am struggling too, am the kind of I-can-do-everything-and-anything mum but in fact, I am so not and exhausted is the word. You got me thinking! Thanks for sharing and hope 2014 will be an awesome year for you and your family!

Lani said...

Great that your Mum is there to help out once a month. I so wish my parents lived nearby. Great bonding for them, and the child!

Cairns Cake Lady said...

I am making this my focus for 2014. I have so many ideas so many plans. .. then all the requirements of looking after family. I struggle with delegating my tasks and seem to go backwards!

Susan said...

Sounds like you're on a good start Ai :) I sometimes get so overwhlemed by the things that I have to do that I just freeze up and end up not dong them at all. There is no shame in asking for help and hope that eases your burden.

Grace said...

New year, new beginnings, for sure! I think it's so important not to get burnt out. The key is to really notice before it happens. And that means, to be true to yourself.
Love that prayer. So perfect...especially for me right now. x

The Wacky Duo said...

Totally agree on burning out. Sometimes we just need to take a step back and breathe. Life is not a race. No pointing zipping thru it and not enjoying it for what it is worth.

Kate said...

I love the statement about choosing our battles that you wrote at the end, wise words indeed! I'll have to remember them x

Debs G from Owls Well said...

I like the idea of getting Lil Pumpkin to sleepover at grandma's so that you can have couple time. I think most marriages tend to take the backseat when kids come along and it's so easy to lose touch.

myshelomitashop said...

yes! I agree to all of that, choosing our battles definitely important. And sometimes we just need to accept it that we can't win everything. Right now I am entering a long distance marriage (again) so phew I am already feeling exhausted ha ha..

mail4rosey said...

Very nice write up, and I couldn't agree more. It's hard to not want to do it all, but it's not necessary, or even possible. Wishing you a wonderful 2014.

Carrie Ann Tripp said...

Yep, tis the season for reevaluating! As the parent of two teenagers, I always thought things would slow down. My kids have helped around the house for ages. But there comes a time, now, for me, that I've had to let go of some things. My thoughts have been heading the same kind of direction.

Wish I had found that scripture reference earlier in the week! Great thoughts!!!!

Dee said...

Yes. I can feel you. It can be very overwhelming and exhausting with so many things in our mind. What a great start is to declutter and start to build what really matters. Wishing you and your family a blessed 2014 :)

Christy Wong said...

I am a FTWM too and can totally know what you mean. I think it's nice of the grandma to accept this arrangement of sleepover. I have started getting my kids to do the house chores already. So far, they have been helping me to mop the floor, tidy the living room, putting clean clothes back to the wardrobe and simple tasks. So I have started to enjoy a little more free time when I get back from work :)