Monday, June 1, 2015

Never Get So Busy Making A Living, You Forget to Live

Ahhh how nice it is to enjoy a long weekend straight after coming back from a weekend vacay for my birthday in Vietnam! :P I love not worrying when my alarm would ring, waking up as my body wants next to Lil Pumpkin {my poor hubby still has to go to work!}, seeing her sweet morning smile and doing our "piggy nose rub". And of course, not going through our hectic morning schedule.

I don't watch The Daily Show but earlier the year its host, Jon Stewart, announced that he was leaving the show after 19 years. I read an article on why he decided to leave, which partly stemmed from an increasing sense of dissatisfaction.

Jon Stewart said, "It’s not like I thought the show wasn’t working any more, or that I didn’t know how to do it. It was more, ‘Yup, it’s working. But I’m not getting the same satisfaction,’” he said. “These things are cyclical. You have moments of dissatisfaction, and then you come out of it and it’s okay. But the cycles become longer and more entrenched, and that’s when you realize, ‘Okay, I’m on the back side of it now.’"

I can relate to that. Work for me is pretty mundane as the scope is not something I'm interested in and it is a chore for me to go to work every weekday. But it's something I've accepted to do since my boss is amazing, there is no overtime, I've a good working environment with healthcare benefits and also because Lil Pumpkin is in her current preschool / childcare.

Once I leave my current company, I've to find her another preschool/ childcare as it is only for the children of my company staff. And I don't want to do that as we like her preschool and she's happy there.

Like what Jon said, you have moments of dissatisfaction, and then you come out of it. I usually come out of it when I think of reasons why I've to do it, but it's really getting harder and harder.

The boy thinks that it's just that I don't want to work. Not that true because I just don't want to work in my current job anymore. If I've something else that I want to do, a dream job where perhaps I get to interact with more Japanese, go traveling, is more challenging and closer to my interests.. then yeah I'd like to do that.

Not that I have it, but I think the longer I stay on in my current job, the less likely I'd go look for it.. or work on other things that make me happy - like blogging, or spend time with people that make me happy - like Lil Pumpkin.

Lately, I feel that 5 out of 7 days, I wake up somewhat feeling life sucks because I've to go to a job that I don't really like. Of course I am grateful for the job stability and income, but that's not really the way to live, right?

What if I suddenly passed away in my sleep? I can say now that I will have many regrets if I die tonight.

And so, I've decided to go part-time next year after Lil Pumpkin leaves preschool, or maybe even quit my current job. Firstly, it'll give me more time to spend with Lil Pumpkin after her school {supervise her work, bring her out, rest, do stuff}, secondly it'll also give me more time to work on what I like and maybe even find a better job I'd love more.

I guess that means less money to spend and travel until something comes in to fill the income gap but I can live with that if it means I'll be happier on a higher percentage of the week. It is ridiculous to always wait and look forward to the weekend, the next break, the next travel vacation. I want to make a change to have more happiness in my life every day. 

There are too many uncertainties when it comes to a big life decision like a job change. But if I don't try, I'll never know. I'm 32 next year and personally, that's kinda old already to not be doing what I want to do.

Thought of changing jobs or changing from a FTWM to a SAHM?
How did you handle the change? 

P.S. Photos are from our sunny Gold Coast trip last year :) So awesome!

P.P.S. Don't forget to take part in my The Wind in the Willows Family Performance Tickets giveaway {worth S$248} which ends on Wed 3 Jun 2015!



Masshole Mommy said...

I went from working with a toddler to staying home. I was spending so much in child care that it wasn't worth me working.

Stacy said...

Welcome to your early midlife crisis. Hehe.

Seriously, the grass is always greener on the other side. And you won't stop hankering for it until you really set your feet down there. So yep, good decision, wait for lil Pumpkin to be out of preschool, won't be long. Then try finding something you'd like better. If one fine day you decide that what you have now is really the greenest grass, you could always try to come back or find something close to it. At least you'd be content/happy then.

An Apel a Day said...

I like going places. This year we do have to watch out spending. I've been trying to catch a lot of the free things to do though.

Indah Nuria Savitri said...

i have been working full time for so many years and still enjoying it..of course, there are prices to pay, including time with my precious ones and for myself. But I do enjoy my work now as I got a chance tot ry other works before as well. With my hubby's full support, Bo et Obi are in good hands :). What I'm trying to say is that you know what's best for you and your loved ones, Ai...cheers...

Theresa Mahoney said...

That's such a tough decision! Like Robin, I was spending all my money on child care, gas and taxes, it just didn't work for us. I love being at home with my girls, and thankfully, am able to make a little money through the blog and a few other ventures. Best of luck on whatever path you choose!

Anonymous said...

I totally understand how you feel. I'm just a year old, btw :P So quarter life and mid life crisis have struck me as well.
Morbid as it seems, i think alot more about death after becoming a mother, and yes, i've since stepped out of my comfort zone and ventured into new arena. Do what makes you happy, challenge yourself in a good way - that helps to keep a person going mentally and spiritually :) Hope you find your new adventure soon! All the best :)

Adrine said...

Gosh, I can so relate to this! One of the reasons why I'm staying at my current job is that I get to leave the office at 5pm on most days (which is rea-llly good for a finance role). But it's such a wrong reason to stay! *sigh*.
Still thinking hard when to make the "leap of faith"!

Ai Sakura said...

Masshole Mommy: Yes it's crazy how expensive childcare can get! As company staff, Lil Pumpkin's childcare fees are somewhat subsidised too so that's another reason to stay.

Stacy: Ya now that you mentioned.. maybe it is hahaha. I don't know if the grass will be greener the other side, but I know that I've kinda eaten my full of this grass already.

Alissa: I think if we look hard, we'll really discover so many fun and free things to do!

Indah: thank you :) yeah hubby's support is def important!

Theresa: Thank you dear! There's a sense of uneasiness, yet excitement too, from venturing into the unknown.

thehootingpost: ya I think about death pretty often too!! why ah? haha

Adrine: Getting off on-time doesn't seem like much to factor in for most, but when you're a mum, small things like this matter a lot. It's the make or break on whether you can pick your kids from school, eat dinner with them, have time to relax with them, study with them, send them to bed etc.

Madeline Heng said...

Haha I never want to stop work cos I hated being a sahm! My mum was forced to be a sahm when I was young and I saw how she "tortured" us with her frustration. She changed so much once she went back to work and told me nv to be like her haha. Have to say it's not for everyone. But having said that, I'm lucky my job brings me happiness. Can understand why you wanna quit if yours doesn't (I would too). All the best in this new chapter!