Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Letter to my girl #16: Be Present Today, To Be In Your Memories Tomorrow

Dear Lil Pumpkin,

We attended a friend's, Uncle Wills, wedding last Saturday. I knew Uncle Wills way back before you were born and because of our busy schedules,  Mummy and Uncle Wills kept in touch mainly through Facebook, although we'll bump into each other at social gatherings sometimes because we have the same circles of friends.

Mummy and Uncle Wills will always say "let's meet up soon, let's meet up soon" but we never really did. And then time passed by and it's been 5 years since we intentionally met up - at his wedding no less. Felt really happy that despite our distance and lack of communication the past few years, Uncle Wills still remembered me enough to invite me to celebrate his special day with him :)

As you and I sat at the pews waiting for the church ceremony to start, I looked back at the past 5 years and realised that time has really flown past so quickly.

The last time Uncle Wills saw you was when you were still a wee little baby, and now, you've grown into such a sweet young girl. Beautiful, precocious and extremely inquisitive. Sometimes I wonder where you get all her energy from, and when I will run out of energy to keep up with you!

Time waits for no man, no matter how much I lament how fast it goes. I can't stop it, and I can't stop you from growing older, but I can be more mindful about how I spend my time with you. Sometimes I feel really guilty that I can't be there with you throughout the day because of work. And even when I'm physically there with you, I sometimes get so caught up fervently capture your growing up moments in words or film to make up for missing some milestones, that I forget to be there emotionally or mentally. I'm sorry.

You may not remember much from the past 5 years, but I'm sure you can from this age forward. I want to be part of your memories, not just the memory maker. The person in your photos with you, not just the one taking the photos. The one dancing and singing all your crazy songs with you, not just the one filming it. The person reading the books with you, not just the one who bought them.

As you get older, I know that you'll probably not want Mummy in your life as much as you do now. That's ok, as that's what happens when kids grow up and be independent.

But in the future, as you look back in your childhood days, I want you to remember that Mummy was there by your side learning, reading, playing and living life together with you. Just like how your grandma was with me.

Love you always,

Lovely, candid shots taken by Alwyn.


Unknown said...

Totally agree with your sentiments! Too many times, I am too caught up with being the memory maker.

Thanks for the reminder to be more a part of their memories as someone emotionally and mentally present.

An Apel a Day said...

Time really does go by fast! I see my family a lot, but neglect my friends. I need to see them more.

Grace said...

Oh, Ai! What a beautiful letter! It's so bittersweet watching our babies grow!
Love these photos! I think you should frame them x

Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me said...

You both look so beautiful Ai. Such sweet and precious words to your girl. Time goes by SO fast. x

EssentiallyJess said...

I love this Ai. I want to be more present with my kids too. I think sometimes I think I'm so busy in my own world, I miss them, and I want to get better at that.

Kathy - yinyangmother said...

This is really beautiful Ai. I really think all this memory making is really memory taking - why capture something for social media if it means you can't remember how you actually felt. We have to swing back to just being a lot more than we are now, with all our doing.

Masshole Mommy said...

It's crazy how we get to busy that things just get forgotten. Glad you guys got to share in your special friend's big day.

Stacy said...

Lovely shots indeed. I can't read your post slowly for fear of tearing up.

Indah Nuria Savitri said...

You are absolutely right! I have the same guilty feeling...and I sincerely hope I can make it up to them and be a better mommy..Thanks for a gentle reminder..

Unknown said...

Love that last photo, very beautiful. So easy to get caught up in other things we forget to slow down and enjoy. #teamIBOT